Harvey Milk Holiday


Right before ole Saint Nick was twirlin' around the world, Harvey Milk was having their Second Annual Trans week.
There were voice coaches for the boys who will soon be girls, collagen classes, therapy sessions and of course a huge Voguing Ball to round off the week.
Last year Lady Kier and I hosted the ball and this year Eli called me asking whom I could muster up for round 2. Since Lady Bunny blogged about my blog on the event last year I thought she would be the perfect candidate. And I couldn't of picked a better dame!
While I as in Miami I mentioned the event to Casey Spooner of Fischer Spooner fame and he leapt at the chance to be a judge.
With my Trans Bunny and Electro Dandy secured for the event I knew it would be a good one.
Sure enough, these kids tore up the runway for us and it was hard to decide whom to choose as the winner.

Butch Realness was my favorite category. These boys were not messing around. They had the puffa jackets and struts down to a T! Although it was hard to beat the 'chameleon' category when the kids would walk the runway and then rip off their clothes to reveal another look all together. Go Wonder Woman!

One girl shook herself so hard that her heel popped off and she kept going in a flat and heel combo. Then her wig flew off and she just pulled down her real hair into the act. She is going to be a legend for sure...

Bunny, resplendent in a black short sheath with a glittering Playboy Bunny on the front and only slightly ginormous pile of blonde hair, cackled through the whole event at the looks, labels and lunges these kids would pull out for the judges.
Casey was equally entranced with their stop drop and twirl moves. Look for some of these tricks on his next tour!

Thanks to Bunny and Casey for participating and if anyone would like to volunteer or donate to this amazing school for GLBT and questionable kids, then please visit www.hmi.org

Basel Frazzle!






This was my first year experiencing the Sodom and Gomorrah that is the Basel Art Fair in Miami.
In short- as Justin said- Basel is like PR speed dating- you see all the editors, stylists and dealers you could possibly imaging in 4 short days. Why do you think everyone stays up all night- business is business!

Justin who has been before (always ahead of the game) and I hopped on a plane on Thursday night December 7th and fell back off the plane at JFK on Sunday night.
What happened in between was quite simply legendary. Or at least that's what we thought while watching the sun rise with all of our new friends.
Believe it or not we DID work. On four hours a sleep a night we hit the massive Basel art fair as well as 2 of the satellites, Pulse and Nada. Pulse was by far our favorite with fresh new talent and a manageable area to walk without betting lost in the endless maze that is the Big Mama Basel.
But from 5Pm to 5AM we were rock stars.
We would start off with cocktails and light fare at the Delano, usually running into some friends. Then we would siesta from 7-9 at the room where we gazed at Boomerang and The Polar Express.
Our first night out we met up with out Beatrice Inn gang- Paul, Rebecca, Clare and the lot at Le Baron where we danced to 'Hit the Road Jack'. From there we went to Paul's rooftop at the Townhouse to watch the sun rise.

The second night we hit ELEVEN places in one night. Not by choice. Wild goose chases ensued to find friends, boys and booze. We did bump into Keith Richards at Duce, a dive bar where he was shivering in the corner in a pink lace shirt and leather vest. Other highlights included the Harper's Bazaar/Swarovski soiree, The Arrive party and a movie screening at the Raleigh. What was not fun was $200 in cabs, cocktails in the rain next to a bon fire and a riot at Le Baron.

Waking up at 12 we would indulge in BLT's on bagels at the local bar and eat them on the beach with Seagulls dive-bombing for scraps. On Saturday night we met up with Jamie Drake and his crowd for drinks at the Sagamore, then we hit the Whitney Party at the Shore Club (Thanks Susan Joy for getting us in before it was open!). Finally we zipped over to the Visionaire party at the Raleigh until 3 am and then drank next to the pool until 5. Quel night! No cabs, lots of friends and many hysterics.

Visionaire was quite a riot simply because we swore our friend Casey Spooner was hosting. I even had a text from him- No line, just come see me! -
The door gal didn’t have any list from Casey but since we were so sugary sweet and I showed her my text from him, she breezed us through in front of the block long line. When we are inside Casey comes up to us and says- Where were you at my party?
This is your party, right?
No, mine was at the Delano!
Oops.
It must have simply been our tees we bought on the street that got us in.
Now those are Legendary (see image attached or Style.com or gayzofourlives.com)
There is so much more to tell but lets just say, we are definitely back for more next year.
Hoorah!

Thanksgiving Feasting







Posting this a bit late- as you can see below, my holiday fete took much of my time!
Enjoy:

This year Justin and I decided to have a vagabond Thanksgiving at his Chelsea Apartment, or as the area is now called, SOMA (South of Macys).
We invited a pile of people from far and wide and everyone brought a lil something.
The French kids brought an apple tart and Get 27, a peppermint liquor that was imbibed rapidly by one and all.
Darien made amazing cupcakes and I made a sweet potato casserole- piled high with marshmallows.
I noticed lots of eye rolling from the foreigners when I sprinkled the marshmallows on top, but after one bite they were all hooked.

As you can see, Fay from the UK dazzled us all with a traditional Native American burlesque dance with a massive wolf pelt at nights end.

Thanks Justin! I’m hosting every Thanksgiving with you- all I had to do is show up! Genius.

Raising the bar on Christmas






Tis the season for Holiday Fetes and I had to kick it off properly with a new bar!
To christen the new piece I invited 40 of my nearest and dearest to join in.
As you can see- Darian was the first to cut the ribbon and enjoyed her egg nog to the last drop!
Little Ren even got dressed in his favorite Chihuahua tee and was adored by all the girls and envied by all the men.
Edmond was the perfect butler for the evening baking up a storm of pigs in blankets and spanikopita. Thanks love.

Never one to have just any sort of soiree I had a special performance – A dashing bagpiper
After Christian tooted his horn Lucy (attempted) to lead a sing along but I think the red wine induced carol carelessness and
‘The Christmas Song’ went way off.

We wrapped it up at 2:45 when the last lick of champagne was lapped up and as you can see the Santa's ended up being the naughtiest guests of the night in the chip bowl.

Thanks to everyone who came and looking forward to more good times this winter!

Posting in the Park





Another check off the 'TO DO' list in New York.
Since day one I have day dreamed of riding through Central Park.
Man and beast trotting down the bridle path past towering oaks, looming buildings and rollerbladers, just the two of us taking in the sights and sounds of the world's most famous park.
But alas, I never made the time, until last weekend.
In a drunken stupor at Mr. Black my favorite new friend Fay Cantor-Stephens, a saucy Brit who works at Sportswear International Magazine, told me she grew up riding and made me promise we would make a riding date.
Hallelujah!
The next morning we were on the horn with the Claremont Stables on 89th and Columbus making a reservation.
They told us that we would have to answer some simple questions about riding and they would need to see how we handle ourselves on a horse. When they told Fay they would of course help her mount her horse, she dryly said, "Darling, I don't need help mounting anything!"

I arrive at the stables a bit early and it is packed to the gills with little socialites in training all kitted out to ride around the ring. Mothers and fathers were grasping Starbucks cups as their little ladies bounced about on their English saddles. The stables are like a parking garage, four stories high with horses fumbling down ramps till they reach the dirt filled arena that is half the size of any ring I grew up riding in. Problem here is, the space is so tight that the horses occasionally get spooked and set off a spook loop between all the horses. At one point 3 of the 5 girls went airborne from their horses, parents screeching, cats scurrying and Starbucks spilling. One Asian mother gallantly declared, "Big deal! Happens every week! Get a grip!"

With that Fay and I look at each other. What are we getting ourselves into?
I approach the Lady of the Stable, a dour woman who is quite comedic in her frank tone.
Cator Sparks: Hi I’m here to ride!
Lady of the Stable: What’s your experience?
CS: I grew up riding on my aunt’s farm
LS: English or Western?
CS: Western but I know English fine.
LS: Are you sure?!
CS: Quite.
LS: Did you go to training school?
CS: Yes for two summers.
LS: Did you pass the exam?!
CS: I never took one.
LS: Fine, so what is posting?
CS: Err, well you see, it’s when you trot and raise your ass in the air and pretend like you are holding a penny in it. Or at least that’s what my aunt told me to pretend.
LS: * Silence and long stare...
LS: Fine then, show me someone posting in the ring?
CS: That little girl in blue is posting.
LS: Fine, NO GALLOPPING!
CS: Yes, ma'am
LS: What kind of horse do you want in manner and size?
CS: Gentle giant please

With that she rings a buzzer like Liz Taylor's in BOOM and screams- Bring down Gillespie!

Fay runs a similar gauntlet although she is far more experienced than I. She owned her own horse and went to pony camp every summer in the genteel English countryside.
She requested a horse with 'Pep'

The woman slams down the buzzer again- Bring down Falstaff!

The horses then wobble down the gangplank and we walk them to the center of the ring, mount up, take our map and we are off. We both get our horses outside of the stable and realize we are scared shitless.
How in the hell did we get ourselves into riding on horseback through the streets of NYC?
Traffic, horns, mad cab drivers, oh my!

We suck it up and keep on truckin'.
Once we got comfortable it was a bit of a power trip. Now I know why my sister loves her SUV so much, to be above the crowd is a great feeling. A horse is the one thing drivers will actually give right of way to, no questions asked.
Nary a horn blew when we were in the way; they just calmly waited until we could get closer to the curb.
And the sound of the horses hooves clip clopping along past those glorious Upper West Side townhouses was glorious!
Yes, we were getting into it.

We made it across the 'Death Avenue' that is Central Park West and into the comforts of the park. I fumble for the map and we find the bridle path and head south past the Reservoir and towards Tavern on the Green.
We were both in total heaven. The blue skies, fall leaves, calm breeze and smell of horses on our hands were divine.

Fay lead since she is more experienced, and Gillespie was a kicker anyways so we were advised to keep him in the back. Several attempts at a trot or canter proved futile, these horses were not having it. But after a bit they picked up speed and we careened past Korean tourists snapping pictures, little babies waving at the horsies and some mighty fine runners who gave a wink and a smile (yes, riding is a total turn on!)

Once we reached the end of the road we turned back and that's when the horses really got excited. They knew it was time to go home and with barely a tap we were off in full canter flying by the world, scarf sailing, limbs snapping and Cator wishing for a jock strap. But what fun!

We returned only 5 minutes late and dismounted outside the stable, kissed our fine friends goodbye and promised a monthly date.

To celebrate our successful jaunt we headed to the Boat House and imbibed several Bloody Mary’s, enjoyed a late lunch and kept our eyes peeled for those cute joggers who were winking whilst we rode.

PS- For the Lady of the Stable, this is from www.equusite.com

Posting: The term "posting" is used to describe the up-and-down pattern of the trot. When you post, you raise out of the saddle for one beat, and sit down in the saddle for one beat. This pattern usually creates a more comfortable trot for both the horse and rider.

T-Bags!







No Im not talking about Tetley, Im talking about Tinsley!
On Friday night Tinsley Mortimer launched her new bag line she did for the Japanese store, Samantha Thavasa.
I got to the store on 79th and Madison a bit early and Tinsley and Dabney were being swarmed by Japanese and American press.
Tinsley looked great in an explosion of pink ruffles cinched at the waist with a black leather bow. Dabney looked super chic in a sheer and sequined black shift.

Once they had two seconds to themselves I got in a kiss and chat and asked to see what they carry in their TM clutches. They both pop open their bags to reveal a bevy of lip glosses in a variety of shades. Go girls! One never knows what changing mood may occur in the night to go from red to pink to sheet to sparkle. These girls never let me down.

Once the press sucked them back into the camera vortex I strolled about the small but bright store.
It is a rhinestone wonderland! Chandelier were used as displays and even the steps into the boutiqe are embedded with pink sparkles under glass. One gentleman onlooker outside looked at his friend and said, "Oh, seems that we are missing a chandelier store opening!" Note to Samantha Thavasa: Put more bags in the windows with the chandeliers....

The place filled up quickly and Tinsley told me to head next door to the lounge. Perfect! I walk behind Dabney and Tinsley and what do we run into inside the lounge but a bevy of Tinsley look alikes. There were 12 girls with curly blonde locks and Jackie O glasses hired for the night to march up and down Madison Avenue swinging their Tinsley Totes. Superb.

Soon a mound of people showed up including Richie and Traver, Jack from La Force, Patrick Mc Dandy, Stephen Knoll and Fabiola Beracasa.
Justin and I sipped our share of champagne then headed to Chat Noir for a cozy din din.

Congrats Tinsley!

Douglas Does it Again





Last Tuesday I went to Bergdorf Goodman to celebrate All Hallows Eve and the new windows that my friend, Douglas Little created.
Douglas is one of the most talented people I know and tonight he amazed me once more.
The party was held in the 7th floor restaurant over looking Central Park. A four man jazz band was there to greet guests with banjos and brass upon entering the room and to the left was the most over the top table I have ever seen. Well, I have seen such things before, in Douglas' creations. But to have it not as a visual, but as a functioning table where one can eat the fruits, frommage and festooned cookies was a real treat.

There were stuffed birds, mounds of fruit and black candles ensconced in candelabra’s (which Douglas' minions were relighting through the night). The chocolate skulls were beyond! Douglas sent his small skull cast to the pastry chef who used it to create chocolate, white chocolate and caramel treats, which once bitten into, would ooze cherry cordial, chocolate mouse or caramel.
The china pattern was Royal Copenhagen's Mega Musel, which is near and dear to me since it is my pattern as well. For an extra over the top addition, cookies were created with the same cobalt blue floral pattern that is on the china.

At the bar there were two massive hand blown absinthe decanters which bartenders were pouring lethal concoctions called Black Widows. Ancient Regime Supermodel, Carmen Del'Orifice had several and once I saved her glass from an eager bartender she laid two gorgeous and silky smooth kisses on my cheeks.

I met some great people that night including Mr. Drut from Maison Gerard and Andrew Pollard from Kiki de Montparnasse. We talked in depth about the Kiki 'Petting Ring" which I find the best invention since sock garters.

The night ended with drinks at The Pierre and a stumble into a cab.
Trick or Treat?

For a slideshow about Douglas' windows, please click here:
http://www.houseandgarden.com/features/gallery/

giddy up to the Greenbrier






I have found Nirvana.
Every fall mom and dad and I spend a long weekend somewhere seriously autumnal. One year it was Asheville another Newport, and this year we opted for Greenbrier, West Virginia.

The Greenbrier is one of the last great resorts of the old South. I would count my one love Sea Island, Georgia, but alas they have grown too big for their britches and become a monstrous mega resort more suited to corporations than families (I haven't actually been yet, but from the pictures I have seen the Cloister has lost its intimacy- hopefully I’m wrong!)

I arrive Thursday morning, mom, dad and my niece Danielle is coming by car and will pull up around 4PM in time for cocktails. They show me to my room and I about pass out. It’s rotten! Green plaid carpet, blue plaid sofa, watercolor chintz curtains that look like they are from the $1 store and very low ceilings.
I look at my bellman and say, "This just wont do."
After a couple of calls I am escorted to an enormous room with yellow rose wallpaper, 12-foot ceilings and flooded with sunlight. I find a quaint vase of roses and a box of chocolates that read, "Happy Anniversary Mr. & Mrs. Alley". Ooops, guess they got the aforementioned crappy room. I promptly unpack and take the chocolates to reception. The flowers I keep, they are a nice touch with the wallpaper.

The hotel is going through a bit of a renaissance at the moment. Dorothy Draper revamped the interiors in 1948 and there was a retrospective on her going on at the City Museum of New York that recently closed. I caught it right before the trip and it was a great crash course in her and the hotel.

The Greenbrier is a bit of a compound with rows of old cottages in the back, a train depot turned Christmas shop in front and acres of golf and trails in the middle. It began as a place for people to take in the sulfur water from the spring. They were said to cure malaise and give the body a fresh start (this was before took daily baths). So like its cousins in Europe like Baden Baden and Bath, the Greenbrier became a great health retreat. After the war, when the hotel was used as a hospital, it needed a major face-lift. Enter Dorothy.

I think Mrs. Draper was part of an LSD experiment because her choice of color is simply outrageous. It’s amazing and shocking to the eye. Turquoise bold stripes, red and pink in the same room, emerald green carpets and chintz galore.

The weekend was one of the most restful of my life. Feasting on great food, dressing for dinner every night, racing Danielle in the indoor swimming pool, shopping in the cottages, exploring the antique stores in town and of course cocktailing.
Every night ended in the Olde White bar to listen to a warbly jazz mistress bop, whiz and bang through an array of standard favorites.

The highlight for me was a fantastic private ride through the mountains. Danielle and I signed up for horse back riding and it ended up being a group ride through the golf course. Boo.
The guide told me to sign up for a private tour and he would take me out for a real trek the next morning.
Is this my Brokeback fantasy come true?!
Alas no, but Danny was an excellent guide and great companion through the mountains. We cantered through the crunchy leaves half way up the mountain and took in the rolling hills and sunken treasure that is the Greenbrier. Cimarron, my horse was a great ride and I could of gone on for hours.

The trip was over before we knew it and it was time to bid the Greenbrier a fond farewell. Twas the perfect fete to fall.

Gettin' Down in Gramercy






Anyone who has been in earshot of me recently has heard me rant and rave about how I detest the renovated Gramercy Park Hotel. Mom and Dad used to stay there and I adored the faded glamour of the old place. I felt so relaxed around the old half drunk bartenders and nibbling on stale fish crackers.
I had not darkened the door of the new Schnabel/Shrager Katrina inspired deconstructed interior but I heard rotten reviews and the whole velvet rope thing really grossed me out. At a hotel bar? Please.
One relatively famous actor friend of mine who has a very unique look got to the front door and the doorman barked, "How may I help you?" He simply said, "You can open the door!"
What happened to "Welcome to the Gramercy Park!”?

Well Price and her Fantastic (!) fiancé are in town and I invited them to the National Arts Club for dinner.
We got dolled up and headed over. What an amazing night- note to members- Dine at the club on Jewish Holidays. It was empty!
I felt like I owned the place. We cocktailed and dined and later McCraney dropped by for a drink.
While Anna and Price caught up Salman and I took a tour around the park and upon passing the new hotel I decided to approach the door, fists clenched, ready for a fight.
We walk up and before I can start a tirade the handsome doorman smiles and says, 'Welcome gentleman! Come on in."
"Wait? I thought you were going to be mean and ask for a blood test. Why are you being so nice? Where’s the VIP list and door bitch?" I ask

"Anyone is welcome inside before 10pm. After that we start tightening up on who comes in just so that the bar doesn’t get swamped."

Aha! Salman and I promise we will be back before 10.
We round up the girls, have a quick photo shoot in the club and then walk over.
The doorman waves at us and said, "Well you didn't say you were bringing some fine lookin ladieees!"
We enter and I am amazed.
The place OOOOZES cool.
The scent of fresh cut cedar is abundant from the new wooden ceiling and columns. There is a fire crackling and a chill groove floating in the air. The fabrics are so lush, the paintings massive, the chandelier rickety and glittery and the red velvet curtains are embroidered in silver, reminding me of the romanitc/gothic interiors of an old Spanish Castle.

The front bar is tiny, just like the original but there is a door in the corner into the bigger bar. We saunter over and VOILA- Le Door man. But he is very sweet and I drop a name or two (pulling directly out of my ass) and he waves us in. Another amazing space and another crackling fire. We cozy up to the bar and order massive amounts of booze. A glass shatters and we blame it on the ghost of the Gramercy.
Anna jumps into a game of pool while Salman and I get to know each other better and Price takes pictures of everything single object in the room.
Anyone who can tell me who this is in the Warhol portrait will win a drink at the hotel on me. I thought it was Aunt Jemima but Salman thinks its Sylvester. Help!
Unfortunately the uber VIP crowd was pretty boring. Guys named Chip wearing Arnettes on their head and sporting poorly ironed shirts. Some cute girls came in later but nothing to write home about.
At 11pm we had been drinking since 6 and we were off to the Spiegel Tent at the South Street Seaport to hear Justin Bond perform at 12.
Don’t ask me about that because I can't remember much but doesn't Sue look ravishing?!

Fashion Week Falderal






Landed at JFK at 1pm from London and was at my first show at 6pm.
How could I miss Loden Dager? I had just written about them for the new T NY Times Magazine.
And they are great friends so it was very mellow.
Love the clothes and the laid back vibe.

The rest of the week was a jumble of tickets, taxis and fashion tourists!
I had more random foreign TV crews and photographers interview me and snap my picture than ever before.
I guess IMG is really eager to show the world how great NYC Fashion week is.

Heatherette is always my favorite- its like a club kid reunion. J. Mendel was AMAZING as was Doo Ri.
Architectural but wearable clothing for women who enjoy being women.
TABLEAU VIVANT is still the way everyone should show their clothes.
Trovata staged one as did Loden Dager and I wish there were more. This way one can really look at the clothes up close, touch the fabrics and not worry about a front row seat!

As usual it was wonderful to see everyone, get to know some people better and catch up with everyone on summer gossip.
Faye and Tim from Sportswear International were my partners in crime all week. We had a blast and Fay was always turned out impeccably. Seen here in Galliano giving a cop a good time.

Now fall is here and the party circuit is pumping. Hold on tight!

Anglomania on the Orient Express






Just arrived back last week from the UK. Spent a week lulling around England, Scotland and Wales on the Orient Express.
How DIVINE!
Castle Howard was a real highlight- My Brideshead Revisited dream come true!
I was decked out in a 3-piece suit and tourists kept asking me if I was a paid actor asked to stroll the grounds looking like Sebastian.
Dinner on the Royal Britannia (The Queens retired yacht) was a real treat.
And going to my Maternal family's homeland, Wales, for the first time was so astounding. The rolling hills, the dramatic weather, the massive amount of lush land.
All that touring and imbibing of champagne in the countryside got me revved up for London.
What a ball I had staying at One Aldwych and visiting friends and the usual haunts.
Gordon Campbell Gray, owner of the hotel put me up in the purple suite since it is my favorite color.
Dandying about town with my mentor Robin Dutt was wonderful as well. We scoured Portobello, trotted down Oxford Street and had a quite lunch to catch up.
I dined solo at Asia de Cuba- not recommended. Well, not if you live in NYC. It is just like the Hudson Hotel- loud, thumping music and everyone looking over their shoulder at who is looking at them. Nice meal though and popped into the Light Bar for a hot minute.
The night, and my last in London, ended on a great note. I walked (er wobbled) back into One Aldwych and perched at the bar for a nightcap. The cute bartender, resplendent in Richard James violet shirt and checkered tie, smiles and says, "Welcome back Mr. Sparks, we were expecting you. The usual?

(The REALLY amazing images mixed with my crappy ones are courtesy of my new friend and fellow Orient Express cruiser, Jim Wernz)

What's Next?






You all know I am an avid arbiter of positive writing, but I simply must explain the debacle of an evening last night that was the Next Awards.

The awards are an annual event (this being the second) held at Cro Bar and the awards presented are for odd ball things like "Best Plastic Surgery", "Biggest Media Whore", etc.

I was looking forward to it and got all dolled up as did my roommate's and neighbor, 'up for anything good times gal’, Lucy.

First off we waited 45 minutes in line to get in. We were VIP and the normal line got in before us! Apparently they were doing 'Red Carpet' pictures so that is why it took longer.

Once we entered the ‘pots and pans’ music was banging and I instantly felt like it was midnight. We swerved about until we got upstairs to the VIP lounge. The bar downstairs was empty but the line at the VIP bar was a mile long. It certainly didn’t pay to be VIP this evening. Then we were appalled to find sushi platters lurking in dark corners all around. Mmmm... warm sushi at a club! Nothin' tastes better.

We headed back downstairs and ran into our favorite Trace editor, Darren Kinoshta and his hot new BF, Monsieur Moustache. While chatting with Steven Knoll and Shania Rendzvous we saw a small explosion at a nearby table. Turns out girlfriend’s hair done gone up in flames. Luckily it was just some real girls pony tail and not some trannies expensive lace front. That would have been just tragic but it turned out to be the highlight of the night.

So with the smell of burning hair seeping through the crowd, Lucy and I head towards the dance floor to find *Harry* and Daniel Nardicio. Harry looked AMAZING! The hair, makeup and dress were a total A+. She was sun kissed and fresh from St. Martin so her glow was divine.

We were all getting really excited about the event. Word on the street was that Wendy Williams was to host and everyone was in a tizzy. The performers started pouring in and we were all eager to see a real top drawer performance.
Don’t hold your breath.

The opening was pretty amusing; with all the girls singing ‘Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend’. Rainblo looked smashing in a platinum wig, Dirty Martini shimmied about with Murray Hill and Shania did a full split at the finale. Peppermint Gummybear ended the song prancing on stage and giving RuPaul circa 1994 in a huge black lace ruffled cape and honey blond tight curled wig.

She ended up hosting with no mention of Wendy. Luckily she had enough wigs and wit to do a fantastic job.

The presentations were weak and half the people honored were not even there to accept the prizes. LAME. They even announced Keith Michael as a presenter and he was nowhere to be found. I love Kevin Aviance but I couldn’t understand a word he said when accepting his award. I think I heard ‘sister’ and ‘children’ a couple of times.

The oddest part was when they gave an award to their own EIC. But by that time half the crowd had left and nobody was really paying attention anyways. The only perk to VIP was the free booze all night long so we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves in the end and caught up with some long lost gays.

I've always been a huge Next fan, so please boys, keep to the gossip and club calendar and stay away from the awards or you will end up getting nominated for one thing, a lemon.

Noah's Ark







Last night my friend Brendon re-launched his menswear line, Noah, with a VIP evening sail for friends and family.
Edina and I skipped out of work at 5PM, dressed in nautical nats natch, and headed to Vessey and the West Side Highway to board.

We arrived at Shear Water; an 80-foot sailboat built in 1928 and was greeted by the crew who helped us aboard.
We of course were the first to arrive, this being a party for hipsters, but everyone trickled in shortly thereafter and drinks began to flow.

The winning outfit went to Brendon's new wife, who was sporting a white drop waisted trench dress that was to die for. She was wearing Brandon's first piece of womenswear! He made it Wednesday night. Of course her glowing Norwegian hair and skin were the perfect accessories. John from Ernest Sewn gave a swarthy effort in the sailing theme with cut off jeans and neckerchief. The rest of the bunch was dressed for a night on Ludlow Street, black skinny jeans, flouncy tops and huge sunglasses. Quite a motley, albeit, fun crowd!

We motored out to the Statue of Liberty and there we hoisted the sails and took off. I haven't been sailing in the harbor for quite some time and it is always a glorious experience to see the city as it should be seen, from the water. Everyone knows my favorite (well, one of them) quote from Vreeland, "Water is God's tranquilizer!"

We got sauced on Stormy Weather's, met new friends, waved at cruise ships and took in the sights of Ellis Island (and too many people asked what that old building was- oh hipsters!)

I could of been out on the sea for hours but we sailed back into port around 7 and headed to Nom de Guerre in Soho to view the collection with the rest of the press people. The collection is well tailored, masculine and classic. Bravo Brendon!

My favorite part was his hangtags, which read:
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
It’s always ourselves we find in the sea.

If one is interested in hiring Shear Water please check out www.shearwatersailing.com

The Slaughter Wedding Showdown





I know this is very late onto the blog, but Uncle Cator has been a busy boy.
Over Memorial Day Weekend one of my nearest and dearest girls got hitched in sumptuous style way down in West Virginia.
Sharon Slaughter and I have been giggle partners for 10 years and I always knew her wedding would be THE wedding.
Why, you may ask?
How about because she was the Art Director at Martha Stewart Weddings for many years. Hot-cha!

She broke the news in the fall when her then boyfriend, English lad Francis, proposed to her in Arizona. What really won her over was the HUGE diamond ring he presented her. I’m talking about Cracker Jack's size big. Actually, it was Cracker Jack's. After slipping it on her finger he said that with her style savvy, there was no way he could pick out the perfect ring, so he was leaving that up to her. Now that’s a man who knows how to handle a chic Slaughter!

The momentous event occurred after a flurry of uber-designed invitations poured into 202 West 122. Cocktail parties, Barbeques, Receptions, and oh yes, the Wedding. Sharon created each one to perfection and oh the paper stock!

As usual plane delays left the NYC set late for the first nights fests. We were driven directly to Sharon's family home and dove into the Kentucky Bourbon and pork while prowling the Slaughter homestead for incriminating pictures from Shay's youth. That wasn’t very hard.

Her parents were lovely hosts and we all had a fine time getting into party mode.
That evening I checked into the Martha Washington Inn, which was a little slice of Southern Heaven. Built in 1832, this Blue Ridge delight was riddled with creaky floors, crystal chandeliers and, my favorite, Zuber wallpaper!

Rick came in from Atlanta at 3 am and we woke up and had a grit fest in the AM before heading out to a Boat Social on the lake with the wedding party. West Virginia is just top drawer! The mountains, foliage, horses and of course the accent.

The afternoon was spent baking at the pool and catching up with friends from ATL and NYC. Once we were thoroughly cooked we dressed for the Bluegrass BBQ held on the grounds of a private club in a 200-year-old restored barn.

PERFECTION people!
We arrived to a sun setting and a Blue Grass trio diddling away while the bar staff poured vats of Tennessee tea.
Sharon's stories about the decor reminded me of that Saturday Night Live skit with Victoria Jackson where she makes her boyfriend binoculars and gold watches while on a deserted island.
"I love those garlands Shay, where did you find them?"
"Oh well, you see there is this old man in Mexico who makes these all by hand and cuts each one out and then strings them together."
"What a great piñata, Shay!"
"Thanks! I had it made by this piñata maker who crafts each one by hand and glues each piece of tissue on separately"

Where she finds these people, I will never know, but the results were spot on.
We all got tanked on bourbon, ate our weight in fried chicken and 'Texas Caviar', which is beans and nacho chips, then danced the night away to home grown music that took us all to another era.

Once the caravan unloaded back at the Inn we took over the balcony and rocking chairs and had our own house party until the wee hours. MaDora and I were so twiterpated by the end of the night that we decided to take a tour of the Inn at 2am. We found the office and stole a roll of packing tape and decided that it would be hysterical to tape someone into their room. So we taped room 78 to death from doorknob to floorboard and then ran away screaming. Oh Bourbon.

The next morning at breakfast we were dying to find out how our friends got out of their door. When asked, they curiously said there was not a problem in room 79. We taped the wrong door. The poor people who had to untangle themselves from our liquor induced web were great sports about it. Thankfully!

We pooled it for the day and then dressed for the 4PM wedding.
The Wedding was beautiful and Shay looked stunning in her Rocha wedding gown (RIP Rocha!).
She knew we weren’t there to be in a church for hours, so it was a quick and well-edited event.
Onto the reception!

Shay and Francis spun off on a vintage Austin Martin and the rest of us cruised over in the short bus.
The reception was held in another glamorous private clubhouse and we all roasted outside on the terrace, which looked over the rolling Blue Ridge Mountains. Booze flowed, food was abundant and as the night went on the socialites in attendance got frisky! The widow of the owner of the racetrack was courting me and the gals were all getting prodded about NYC fashion. It was great fun.

The band, Party on the moon.com (!), started off slow and then took it to Beyonce levels of rump shaking and wig waving. Hailing from Atlanta, I originally thought it was a band of tranny's but there was no mistaking these girls were the real deal. Rick and I sandwiched one of them and started shaking so fast that she forgot the words to her song and just burst out laughing.
As word got around that things were winding down the wedding party went into covert party mode. We slipped bottles of wine, champagne and vodka into ladies handbags, goodie bags, men's duffle bags. We were not to be dry tonight back at the inn.

As we were wrapping up the booze mission we were asked to move to the front of the clubhouse. Once gathered we were entertained by a dizzying fireworks display that rivaled Macys. Shay didnt miss a thing.

Once back to the end all hell broke loose and I, as usual ended up running amok in my drawers in the fountain. I will forever channel Scott and Zelda when near a mechanical pump and water.

The next morning we shared stories, piled on the grits and headed home while Shay and Francis wiped their brows and began gearing up for their second wedding in England. No rest for the wedded!

Be sure to check out Martha Stewart Wedding's spring issue of 2007 for more high style images...

Goo goo for Gawker


The Gawker was on the prowl last Thursday night at Ben and Horacio's lovely soiree.
Their 'Media Party Template' killed it!
Here is the text from the event but check out the site for the comments.
I think the saying, 'popularity breeds contempt', applies here.
Thanks Gawker for another witty write up!


http://www.gawker.com/news/photos/team-party-crash-fabulous-nobodies-republication-event-193730.php

Last night News gossip Ben Widdicombe and T (the NYT Style book) bigwig Horacio Silva threw a little party at Silva's charming apartment. The soiree was in honor of Lee Tulloch, whose Fabulous Nobodies is being republished on its twentieth anniversary. We dispatched Intern Neel, whose coverage follows, along with the fine work of Gawker lensman Nikola Tamindzic.

In our infinite wisdom, we showed up already intoxicated and way late. So late, in fact, that we got there just as everyone else was on their way out, though we'd like to think that was more random happenstance than cause-effect. Thankfully, we can extrapolate with 99% certainty what went on in the hours preceding our arrival using a top-secret Media Party Template we had mocked up specifically for situations like this:

1) Lots of drinking
2) Lots of idle chit-chat
3) Lots of discussing where everyone's going next

Rush and Molloy graduate Chris Rovzar stuck around just long enough to tell us he's quite excited about his upcoming Fulbright scholarship, in which he'll be studying gay marriages in Madrid (fear not, New York queens: the Daily News is keeping a spot for him when he gets back). Radar's Jeff Bercovici stuck around just long enough to tell us he was leaving. Gatecrasher and party co-host Ben Widdicombe stuck around to ply us with red wine.

Sufficiently plied, we asked Ms. Tulloch, the woman of the hour, whether she suffered any guilt over indirectly paving the way for the Weisbergers of the world. "Well," she said carefully, "at least it gives you something to do on the beach." That's one way to spin it.

Joyous Jersey!








Ahhh Jersey. The water, the views, the food. Now listen, I said Jersey, not New Jersey.
This my friends, is the REAL Jersey.
As Wikipedia states:

Islanders became involved with the Newfoundland fisheries in the 17th century. In recognition for all the help given to him during his exile in Jersey in the 1640s, Charles II gave George Carteret, Bailiff and governor, a large grant of land in the American colonies, which he promptly named New Jersey, now part of the United States of America.

Well what Wiki didn’t mention is that Philip Hewat Jaboor lives in Jersey, and he is the reason I made the trip.
I have heard about Jersey for years from both Rod and PHJ. It has always come across as a slow (but dreamy!), waywardly official island of England where major amounts of alcohol are imbibed.

Well you know what- I was right!
This wonky island is absolute heaven. Not only did they harbor lesbian surrealist lovers in the 30's but the Nazis swooped in for five years and stuck my friends grandmother in her own attic, took over her house and sent her ramshackle pieces of food (correct me if I am wrong Richard). As Quentin Crisp said, "popularity breeds contempt" and the UK is always irritated at Jersey for being loved. Not only does she have loads of beaches, a wonderful climate and great seafood but terribly entertaining residence!

PHJ was the most delectable host, he catered to my every need, most of all champagne. There was a wonderful schedule for each day:
Coffee and hot croissants at 8am
Relax till 10
Jaunt into town from 10-12
Lunch from 12-2
Beach from 2-4
Nap from 4-6
Dress from 6-630
Drinks from 630-730
Dinner from 730-?

I would occasionally wake up at night from the sounds of my liver crying but Rod was sure to stock up decanters of water next to my bed each night.

PHJ's house is amazing. An old farmhouse with a lovely addition on it is roomy yet cozy. His gardens are the end. Masses of lavender, agapanthus and a huge potted Datura to greet you when you walk into the front door.
Pheasants abound and are heard squawking day and night. My favorite sound was the sound of the neighbors clopping by on their horses all day. I am not sure if they do that all the time or if PHJ pays them to do it for guests in the mode of Au Rebours. However it happens, it made me feel like I was living in another century.
And how about that Pagoda? We all need one in our lives. The perfect retreat from the bustle of country life. To hole up in during a rainy night with a candle, or a lover and do it a la Japonaise.....

All of the people I met in Jersey were such a treat as well.

The Miles, who I have traveled with to India and Egypt, invited us to Seafield, their historical maison, for dinner.
Pictured here, you can see it blows the pants off of most other homes. Built in 1808, Richards great grandfather bought it and it was here that his grandmother was locked up while the Nazi's used the home as a base during the war. Richard has a great story (one of many) of his grandmother converting to Islam in the 1920's and when she died he found a massive crate in the attic and hoping that it was full of costumes and photographs found it packed with sand from Mecca! We enjoyed a stroll through the grounds of the home and a feast of the biggest lobsters I have ever seen. Their sons Henry and Robert were quite entertaining as well. Unfortunately, their daughter Kate, who spent a wild Halloween with us here in NYC several years ago, was vacationing on Corfu and couldn’t be there. I did meet an unexpected guest- Henrietta the hen! Richard knows my fascination with chickens but didn't warn me about his hen house. As soon as we turned a corner and I saw the cages I nearly dropped my pink champagne and ran into the house. Inside was the pluckiest little hen you have seen. I swooped her up, fed her some booze and petted her repeatedly. We got along splendidly. Richard offered me some of her eggs but I declined, although on second thought, they would of been quite fun souvenirs if I hollowed them out and displayed them at Easter. Next time Richard!

Senator Freddie Cohen and his family were a riot. Their home was quite stately but full of kids, which made it very relaxing. They hosted a BBQ for us and 8 other people and we gorged on chicken, tuna and lamb. Afterwards, 15-year-old Henry Miles was very bored with the other kids (a feeling I can recall vividly) so we set out on our own for a dune buggy ride through the pastures and onto the cliff over looking the sea. What a view! We screeched through weeds, rocks and even gave some rabbits a good chase before running out of gas and having to push the cart back to the house.

One of my favorite spots we toured was a church built in the 1920's by the wife of the founder of Boots the Chemist.
She commissioned Rene Lalique to create the interior and the results are dazzling. You can see here the pulpit of the smaller chapel. What you can't see are the floors that were carpeted with white Shagreen. Now that’s luxe for the Lord.

Thank you PHJ for a most memorable vacation! I'm looking forward to the next moment of folly on this fantastic Isle...

Fourth of July 2006






Yet another 4th was spent at the lush home of Jamie Drake in East Hampton.
Since Rod's birthday is July 3rd, we all decamp from the castle in Harlem and head out to the sweet smelling countryside for 4-5 days to celebrate.

This year the guest list included:
Jason and Jamie- Our fabulous hosts
Sue Saas- Accordionist flapper
Philip Hewatt Jaboor- Rods boyfriend and town smarty pants
Rod Keenan- Birthday boy
Cator Sparks- one piece wonder
David Casto- Cator's poet-liscious boyfriend
Jonathan Raiola- Grilled Pizza creator bar none
Chris Johnson- Interior Design guru of Savannah

It was a small crowd this year and there were no 'special guests stars' as there have been in the past.
I missed meeting new people but relished being around friends and just tanning, swimming, reading and of course boozing.

One day I actually set a record and started drinking at 9am but by 10 I was passed out by the pool. Enough of that!

Marika, Jamie's chef, made the MOST amazing dishes. Highlights included pea soup with curry topped with lemon cream fraiche, steak by the pound, strawberry cheescake, coconut pastries topped with jam and one hell of a hot dog, hamburger blowout!
Oh, and the baked figs were really top drawer.

This being David's first time out, he was a bit nervous and so was I frankly. Would he have fun? Would he like my crew? Would he roll his eyes at my one piece swimming costume? Well he did indeed roll his eyes, but cracked a gorgeous smile of approval.
Everyone found him simply wonderful and very smart. PHJ was so enamoured that he even invited him to Jersey! Hope David can make it over the pond with me in 3 weeks, but we shall see. David was really surprised too. He thought that the long weekend would be some sort of social function like you see on TV and was much releaved to find it was a relaxing holiday with lots of pool time. We even had nap time and watched Orlando.

I only left the house twice. One day after lunch a group of us piled into the convertible and headed into town for some shopping, only to find all the shops closed for the weekend. We did pop into LoCo my favorite shop full of old Chanel, Hermes bags, Venetian glass and fun books. Edmond, the owner was glad to see us all and David may even work with him selling some Venetian pieces he has from e bay.

Highlights included dinner at Amonditos where we all got rather wiped out on margaritas, sue's unfortunate run in with a mean pair of scissors resulting in 7 stitches, fireworks galore on Rod's birthday (the pagoda thats roof rose was a real hit), Rod opening presents (The latex aliens pictured are actually seeds you plant and the latex dissolves..), Lunch on Shelter Island (Just like St.Tropez there were so many French).

Alas, we got back Tuesday evening and tonight we head to Atlanta to visit the family and friends. Lets see how David does on horseback! Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into by dating me?

Pimpin' on Fire Island





I am all about summer vacation. Hell, Im all about vacation period. My goal is to work as little as possible. This said, the glorious gals at Brand Pimps, my part time job, decided to take us all to Fire Island for two days of burgers, booze and brownie mix.

It was great to spend some off the clock time on the beach with everybody, even though I have probably spent more nights in bars with them than days at the office.

It was especially exciting to watch Deirdre have a panic attack when we almost missed the ferry. And watching Minya do a Benny Hill run through the grocery store before the ferry left was beyond words.