My 35th

Tuesday I turned the big 3-5.
I love birthdays. It's kind of like New Year's except you wake up on the actual day with no hangover. For the most part.
                                               (My cake at the Trustees Dining Room)

I was up at 7:30 and had the morning routine of playing with Mabel with my eyes half shut while she makes the figure eight around my hand to get the most contact possible. Then I roll over and stare at my wall of pictures, follow them to the windows perched 20 feet above the ground in the turret and gauge the weather of the day. Then I usually hear a little whimper. That would be Fergus ready for his morning tinkle.

I give Mabel one last hearty pat and roll out of bed, open the blinds, stare out at the wide street of 122nd and watch the clouds in the sky until Fergus reminds me he still needs to wizz. I dress in my gym clothes, open his crate and carry him downstairs to the garden terrace. He bounds around for a while then remembers to tinkle, gets a treat (Good Potty Fergus!) and continues playing.

I then pick him up, bring him inside, plop him on my chest on the chesterfield, pull out my Nikky Haslam book and read a chapter while he passes out and cuddles. 35 ain't so bad so far!

That afternoon Rod and I took a car down to the Met for lunch in the Trustees Dining Room. It was a madhouse! Everyone was there to see the McQueen show, open only to members that day. We waited so long for a table the host brought out champagne for everyone. Hoorah. We had a lovely meal and commented on just about every table in the room, "Ooooh look at her hair! That dress? Who is that man in pink?"

The exhibit was great to see again although packed to the gills with people. I spied several things I had missed on press day and watched the entire Kate Moss hologram installation.
(My gift to myself on the big day- a pair of McQueen Armadillo pump tree decorations!)

Afterward I had to rush home to finish a story due that day (damn deadlines!) and at 5:30 headed down to Chelsea for a meeting with the Citizens Committee of New York City. I applied for a grant for tree guards for the block and was approved! So I had to go meet the team. From community service to champagne, I headed to Olivia's for a bottle before heading out for the night. Lovely!


We headed to Tiny's for a round of drinks. It was great to see Jack, our old bartender from the Beatrice who now manages this new spot. Fay, Lucy, Javas and Soumanjoy joined us.
Soumnajoy was carrying an awfully big bag in his hand and a smile on his face. HAND IT OVER.

I unpacked it to find a jewel encrusted Sherwani his sister sent from India for me to wear at my party. It is beyond handsome, over the top and a major moment for my closet! I had to try it on then and there and it fits like a glove. Thanks babe!

From there we walked to Bubby's in Tribeca for piles of mac & cheese, short ribs, nachos and cocktails. Fay and Olivia surprised me with a little carrot cake cupcake and a candle and song. We all split the wee cupcake after such a massive meal.

And that was that! A perfect day with fantastic friends whose presence always mean more than any presents.

Fergus' Southern Sojourn


Last weekend I took Fergus on his first big trip. We headed out to the airport at 7am and arrived in Atlanta at noon. He was a great traveler. I brought the baby benadryl just in case but he didn't need it. Although he got a little antsy at the end. He will def need it for the Texas trip at the end of the month!



Mom and Dad's house was like a whole different world with a puppy. Not only was I on the constant crawl to find him in the house since it is entirely carpeted so it looks like one giant wee wee pad, but we explored parts of the yard I had never darkened.



Every morning we would wake up around 8am and pad outside into the sunlight where Fergus would spring to like and chase the squirrels, dogs and frolic in the leaf piles.


He got along great with Dudley, the new Basset Hound mom and dad rescued. They had a blast and would race around for hours. Thank God since Buford is too old and ornery and Chloe is just too fat.


Friday morning mom and I woke at 5am for the royal wedding. I am so glad we did. Yes, you saw clips for the next five days but to watch it uninterrupted was glorious. That afternoon we wearily drove to Roswell to meet up with Cator and Susan Angel who grew up next door to mom and Cator in Buckhead. She found me on Facebook and wanted to meet up. It was lovely meeting her sister and sister-in-law for lunch and looking at old pictures.


When I got home dad and I cleaned the boat. I brought Fergus down to the dock and all was well until I couldn't find him and saw him paddling in the lake! I Florence Nightengaled into the water and rescued him. He has officially had his Southern baptism. That evening we went to the club and I was so tired that I got way too drunk (thanks Jerry for the white wine!) and don't really remember coming home and passing out at 10:30.


Saturday was fun filled with Laura, Sam, Mary, Kathy, Drew and Genene coming up for a day on the boat. That morning there was a Chicken Festival in Gainesville so Laura, Sam and Mary came up early for that. We pigged out on all sorts of chicken and our friend Don Dukes had his own booth- The Dukes of Oil. He also had his own redneck stemware which I am obsessed with!




Mom packed a huge lunch for the afternoon and we tooled around the lake and beached at Sunset cove so Mary could play with some other kids while we drank, ate and caught up. Good times.

That evening I went to the rare and wonderful Applebees for dinner with Gay. It's actually refreshing to go to a chain every once in a while and DAMN those mozzarella sticks are good.



Sunday we just hung out at the house and spent most of the day in the yard with the dawgs before heading back to the airport.

Thanks mom and dad for another lovely and lulling weekend in the South.

Easter 2011

Since 2006 I have been joining Mark & Mary and their growing family for a day of church, egg hunts, food, and if we are lucky-booze.



This year was my first with my own little one. And now I know why parents tend to run late! I was all dressed, groomed and ready to go  when Fergus pooed all over the living room something the size of 12 Cadbury Eggs (where does he store all of that?) which he then pounced in and ran around the living room. Grand.


So Soumanjoy and I were on knees cleaning, spraying, scrubbing, sweating off all my cologne I put of for Jesus. 10 minutes late it was the first time Mark & Mary beat me there.

But the service at First Presbyterian was lovely and it was so nice to have an hour of thought, prayer and giggles with the kids (I brought them chirping chicks that of course they turned on during prayer time).


Afterward we walked in the glorious weather over to Waverly to dine at Jeffrey's Grocery
where Ian and Barge joined us. We ordered brisket sammiches, Bloody Marys with oysters and pain au chocolat while the kids (and Ian) played with their Easter basket toys.




We made it back to the church in time for the Easter egg hunt where all the kids were dressed to the nines (or daintily as Soumanjoy said), baskets ready and eyes on the prize. It was good fun to help all the kids find their eggs (only four per kid allowed) minus the creepy man in neon sunglasses and Looney Tunes waistcoat who didn't seem to have any kids in the hunt.



Beatrice was tuckered out but mommy Mary needed one more libation so we tossed Mark and Bea in a cab while we headed to Gusto Organics for wine, fruit smoothies and snacks where we gossiped, groaned and guffawed about the lives we lead. I had no idea I'm a wood sign or that Alistair had a Steve McQueen cut on his eyebrow from a tumble down an escalator!







By then it was 3pm, the clouds started creeping into the city and we were all dozy from vino. We trained it back up to Harlem where Soumanjoy passed out and I piddled (with the plants, not as in tinkling-ROD) on the garden terrace. Another great Easter with my New York family and the excitement to come home to the newest addition made the day perfect and precious.


New Pictures of Mr. Dingwall

He has grown so much so I culled a batch of random pictures I have been taking so everyone can see how my little pot licker is growing!
                                                      Napping next to Daddy's desk

Past out on Daddy Joe's shoulder. For some reason he loves sleeping on top of the couch like a cat. Mabel, what have you been teaching him?

During an intense rough housing I mussed his face up so much he turned Twilight on my ass.

He has FINALLY learned how to walk down the stairs to the terrace alone so he is now King of that domain.

                                                Wo' out after his first walk with Rocco

                                    Just last night while we were cuddled on the couch.

Fergus' First Function


As soon as I picked up Fergus, Olivia and Fay were already planning a puppy party. Yesterday, with the sun shining and a cool breeze we hosted a small crowd for a late afternoon get together to celebrate Mr. Fergus Dingwall.

Dressed in his best David Hart tie, Fergus welcomed friends who brought him loads of new toys, treats and handsome clothes!

                                                            (Yes, those are dog treats!)


The most popular gift was a chew toy in the shape of a mustache. He got three of them in every size!


I bought a fair amount of wine but the iced tea seemed to be the hit since most of the crew was hungover from birthday parties and weddings from the night before.



                                             (Alistair took this picture of Anne and me)

I made a very 50's lemon and strawberry jello treat, Anna made vegan cupcakes with blueberry filling  and Olivia made the most amazing quiche.





Ferris made a guest appearance and the boys got there tumble on and everyone got a little Fergus play time. So much so that by the end of the day the little man was wo' out.





But this morning was just like Christmas when we came downstairs to go potty and his ears perked up at all the new toys and he was bouncing from one to the other and even chewing on balloon strings and dragging them all over the house.


Cuteness overload! Thank you to all who attended.

Dressed to Kilt in David Hart Ties

Now this is how a package should arrive.
I am a total sucker for brown paper packaging, twine and wax seals.

David Hart sent me these two lovely ties to choose from to sport next week when I judge the Dressed to Kilt event. It is one of my favorite charity events each year.
1. Because of a plethora of Scots
2. Men in kilts.
3. Scotch!

I am thoroughly thrilled with my package but little Fergus (who is not allowed to attend because of PETA problems in the past!) was delighted with the tissue.



Fergus' First Weekend!

I picked up Fergus on Friday in Amish country and he has been on a roll ever since! They guest who have been gracing his presence have been many. And he is doing so well! Already wee wee pad trained, sleeping through the night in his crate and getting along well with Rocco and Ferris. Mabel will take time.
 7am, tinkle time and playing tug o war with the dead ivy.
 Pitcher play!

 Waking up Daddy
 Ferris' first sighting of the dawg. Priceless!
 Rocco and Fergus get to gettin.
 Ferris still unsure of this entire situation
 Cat toy!
 First bath. Not a fun experience for anyone but he grew to double the fluff and smelled 100 times better.
 Uncle Justin visits!
 So far Fergus has unearthed five wine corks from the depths of the garden terrace. Ahem...
 Auntie Silvia and Olivia visit. Silvia came all the way from Austria!
 Olivia bought Fergus tennis balls that happened to have a Scottie on the box. Perfecto.
 Soumanjoy makes everyone breakfast in his very revealing apron.
 The crew.
 The warmest day of the season so far.
 And Ferris finally gets greeted.
 Passed out pup and play time with uncle Rod.

 Don't even ask. Several bottles of wine later.

 Daddys
 Auntie Katie came up from Chelsea to meet Fergus.

And after even more wine this re-enactment of my Middle East trip happened.
Welcome home Fergus!

Abu Dhabi


Abu Dhabi was the last stop on the cruise. Leave it to me to not read up a thing about the place before we arrived, so I was expecting a small town type of thing. Little did I know it’s the capital of the U.A.E! Although the sprawl isn’t quite as big as Dubai’s there is still a lot going on. Since it is made up of hundreds of islands there is a lot of water, which I love and a beautiful corniche. It is also much wealthier than Dubai so things are just a little bit nicer. Dubai will run out of oil in the next five years, Abu Dhabi won’t run out for another 100.

We waited for Roxy (our guide from Dubai who drove over to guide us here) for 30 minutes because a triathlon had shut down the whole city. It was a real palava but we managed. First stop was the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, which you all know by now after my obsessive posts about it. I don’t know if I will ever see something grander.

Next up was Shangri-La, a Jumeirah beach type resort with shops and restaurants. It was kind of sad and empty and too grand for its own good. But we did stop in Bateel, a famous date shop here and sampled dates with ginger slices, dates dipped in chocolate and dates with pistachios. Divine! I bought some to bring home.

Next we drove over to the Emirates Palace. This is Abu Dhabi’s Burj Al Arab. The two cities are friendly politically but culturally they are always at each other’s throats. When Dubai erected the world’s tallest flagpole, Abu Dhabi erected one three inches taller.

Like the Burj the Emirates is a seven star hotel and people aren’t allowed in just to gawk. But Roxy knows there is an exhibit going on inside and she drummed up this big speech to give to the security guards. We were in line with a bunch of taxis and they kept being turned away, but as soon as we got to the front of the line, the guard smiled and wove us in. I guess we looked like guests!

The interior is incredible, swathed in gold leaf, gold tiles and marble walls. Frankly I like the Burj better just for awe-inspiring size and shape but this hotel really is supposed to be like a Sheikh’s palace. 




We found a gold ATM where you can put in $100-$10,000 and out pops a piece of gold in the appropriate weight. 




We did actually go to the exhibit, which is all about the development of Saadiyat Island. By 2030 the island will be a major cultural center with an opera house designed by Zaha Hadid, a Guggenheim by Frank Gehry, a Louvre by Jean Nouvel, the list goes on. The models were incredible and I would love to come back when it is complete.

Next stop was the cultural center and heritage museum. Because of that irritating triathlon the main road to this museum was closed to cars so we had to get out and walk in 90-degree weather for 30 minutes back and fourth. It was pretty awful but once there it was a charming little place of thatch roofed huts and a little tourist souk where I bought Price the best Lady Bunny looking abaya around!  It was also here where we could actually go on the beach and stick our feet in that gloriously blue/green water. Great moment alert!

After the walk back, dodging cyclists and joggers (one man was passed out from sun stroke and it took the ambulance 45 minutes to get there because of closed roads) we headed out to Yas Island. This is where that Formula One racetrack was built into a hotel and where Ferrari world is based. 


Granted neither of those things have ever been in my vocabulary we went to check them out. The Yas hotel was pretty amazing with all white interiors with the racetrack running right next to the restaurant. 




We poked around there for a bit but sadly no racing was happening that day. We just drove by Ferrari world, the building is amazing but clearly we had no interest in what is inside!

After this it was time to head back to the ship. We had been zizzing around since 9am and were wo’ out. We bid Roxy adieu and tipped our terribly handsome Indian driver (I don’t now if it’s the dates or the water out here but every man is so good looking!) and headed back to the ship. In the entrance tent to the ship there was a local man with his falcon just hanging out for tourists sake. I wanted to talk to him but he didn’t speak English or so he feigned and I took a picture and moved on.

We sat on the pool deck for a bit to catch some last rays of sun before I started the massive task of packing! I managed to pack it all in, but who knows how much it weighs. We dressed and headed to the bar for the usual cocktails and then watched an impressive tango performance in the Centrum. We then headed to dinner where a waiter came out of know where and kindly asked if we could stay at least until 930 so we could watch the waiters big performance. He said, “Every night I come by your table to say hello and you are out of here by 9:45!” Sad but true this hasn’t been the party trip like ones before. We stayed and watched the waiter’s sing and dance (yikes) then called it a night.

Today is our last day in Dubai. We are hitting the spice and gold souk one last time and then having lunch with Goncalo again. We have dinner on the ship and then have a pick up at 11pm in the ship terminal to head to the airport for our 2am flight. It’s going to be a long day!

This trip has been an interesting one. It’s an area of the world I never thought I would visit but I am so glad I did since it is the buzziest place in the world right now with their construction, bankruptcy, riches and most recently, political strife. It will be interesting how all of this plays out and what this place will be like in 100 years. Maybe it will be even bigger and better, but I wouldn’t be surprised if its back to a fishing village and these incredible monuments are looked at like we look at the pyramids and the Taj Mahal, a culture lost, an end to an era.





Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, Abu Dhabi

 


Now that I have sent my flower and carpet images I thought it about time to post images of the actual mosque.
(Our hysterical private guide, Roxy. If you are ever in Dubai or Abu Dhabi and need a tour call her!)


                 (Our handsome and sweet guide. Mother now has a terrible crush on Arab men)

So far it has cost $3.2 Billion and they haven't even finished working on the grounds which will have lush gardens, fountains and streams.

It has the world's largest chandelier, made by Swarovski.
                                                           (The largest chandelier)
(Another one)

There are 82 domes all in white marble and the biggest one is the largest on record.
(The men's ablution room-where you clean your hands, face, head and feet three times before prayers)

I was simply astounded by this beauty and richness. I'm reading about Cleopatra at the moment and her palaces were inlaid with gemstones on the walls and columns, this is what it must have been like.

I could babble on but the pictures say it all.


The Persian Carpet at the Zayed Mosque


This is apparently the largest carpet in the world (beating the one in the mosque we saw in Muscat!).


 It was all made in Iran and helicoptered over, lowered in and sewn together on site. 


I didn't notice in the carpet in Muscat but this one has raised lines in it so that everyone can make perfect lines (foot to foot, shoulder to shoulder as our guide told us) during services. 


I guess that is how they can squeeze 40,000 people into the place. These were some of my favorite patterns. 

Mother has said she wants to make needlepoint seat cushions out of them. Watch out! 

The Flowers of the Abu Dhabi Mosque

I am speechless. I have never been to a place more beautiful, astounding, amazing, spectacular than the Shiekh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi. The third largest mosque in the world (only Casablanca and Mecca are bigger) this place blows the Taj Mahal and Versailles out of the gilded fountain.

I will load several posts on the mosque that has the world's largest chandelier and carpet because of its sheer beauty.
Enjoy!

(My favorite picture of mother. The marble flowers are bigger than she is)

(The five times to pray plus the time the sun rises so you don't miss a prayer!)

A Day at Sea


                                           (Sunrise Over Iran! Sounds like a musical right?)
Yesterday was one of those days I dream of when I am hung over, cold, stressed out and on deadline in New York (which should be about this time next week)- a full day at sea!
There is absolutely nothing to do but relax, read, sunbathe, think and lull about.
                     (We both read half this book today. I want silver oars and jewels in my palace walls!)
Funny enough I didn’t even sleep late. I woke up at 6:15 to a glorious sunrise over Iran. It was Apollo-liptic in grandeur, color and size. I just sat on our terrace and gazed at it rising and thought about life. Every morning should start out so tranquil and lovely.
                                                       (Mom spent time sewing me a belt)
I finally got mother up and we ate in the nice dining room for breakfast. We didn’t realize they served breakfast in there until last night, silly. We were seated with a couple from Belgium who didn’t speak a lick of English and a funny couple from Chester, England. They travel all year round and he told me a frightful fact that he heard when he was in Iceland: The Chinese want to buy the whole place up because the North Pole ice has melted so much that they can finally drive oil tankers over the top of the world and can reach Iceland in lightening speed. I didn’t delve but that sounds terrible n’est ce pas?
                                                              (Sea Lions at rest)
Next stop, sunbathing. We found two chairs amongst the sea lions and read for an hour in the blistering heat, which totally rendered me lobster red. It was at this time that the Captain came on to announce the tsunami in Japan. Very scary stuff.
                                               (WTF is that? And why is it near my ship?)
I just realized this is a terribly boring post so I will save more text for tomorrow and leave you with bullet points of the rest of our day at sea:
                                                      (Um, please don't be pirates...)
  • Next stop gym
  • Then lunch
  • Then a doze on the deck chairs
  • One more trip to the gym
  • A good hour in front of the TV horrified by the news in Japan
  • Hanging out on the balcony and seeing a huge black cloud and getting scared
  • Hanging out longer and seeing five little motorboats zizzing around us and wondering if they were Somali pirates. Still can’t figure out who they were but glad they left.
  • Watching the sunset, not nearly as glorious as the sunrise but pretty none the less
  • Manhattans at the champagne bar
  • Dinner in the Minstrel (who in their right mind named it this?) dining room
  • Back in the room to be greeted by a towel monkey.


We are pulling into the port of Abu Dhabi now at 7:13 am. And I thought Dubai was big. Whoa.

Day Two in Mystical Muscat


Well mother and I didn’t make it up for the white party, but it was nice to wear my Dishdashah to dinner nonetheless. We booked at one of the nicer restaurants on the ship, Chops, and had a fantastic steak-a-thon. I somehow got very drunk and don’t remember how the evening ended, but mother said nothing spectacular happened since we were in bed by 10:30. Alas!


But day two in my favorite little town was majestic. We walked back to the souk and I got mother into the silver store where she began to shake with excitement. It really was a site to be seen, silver from floor to ceiling: picture frames, handbags (yes!), jars, boxes, incense holders, fish, conch shells, canes and of course jewelry. Sadly silver is at an all time high these days and the sweet Indian man said he is hardly selling any of it since it is just so much pricier than usual. I was dying for one of those articulated catfish with turquoise eyes (my great aunt had some and Vreeland had piles at her Park Avenue home) but they weighed in at $480 a pop. Sigh. Mother quivered over a rococo designed purse that also went for around $500. Double sigh. But we found some bits and bobs before heading onto the next spot.

It was a great time to be at the souk since the tour buses hadn’t yet arrived so the vendors were not at their peak screech level trying to get you into their stores. It was mostly local families buying spices, clothes and perfume. We spent some time in an Indian gold shop where I bought piles of bindis and bangles for my upcoming Bollywood themed 35th birthday. The owner of the store was dazzled that I had real Indian friends in New York City and that I was buying these things for an Indian party. I asked if he worked at the store for long and he proudly raised his hands and said, “I come from south India and this is my store!” Then bobbled his head and smiled. Adorable.

Once we were souk sauced we headed next door to this little dive where I ordered a fresh squeezed lemon, mint drink that was beyond refreshing, then headed to the cab area where we asked a driver to take us to The Chedi. He has just Frankincensed his car and it smelled like the Holy Roman Empire in that little thing!

The Chedi is one of those hotels that you just go to. It’s on the ‘must’ list of jet setters if one is in Muscat so we did it. My friend Megan, whose family lives in Saudi but are from Texas said, “Oh Muscat? The Souk, the mosque, The Chedi, done.” See?
                                (fried cauliflower, baba ganoush, saffron rice and grilled fish)
It was a 30-minute drive through the most manicured landscape I have ever seen. This country has serious money. Every part of the highway was bordered with three tiers of pink, purple and white flowers, there were hedges cut into French formal garden shapes and massive sculptures, fountains and mosque every 10 feet. Neither of us could get over it. Especially if you remember this is desert world so all of those lawns and flowers have to have an underground irrigation system running through them.

The Chedi was a modern affair that reminded me a lot of the new W hotel in South Beach. Soaring ceilings, lots of wood and stone, fountains trickling out of pots. It really was a bit soulless, just another 5 Star hotel with posh people rolling about. But it was beautiful and I can see why it’s on ‘the list’. And the food! The food was a dream! Especially after days on that ship food. I felt like Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love, I savored every bit of hummus, every crunch of a dolmades, and every pop of a grapefruit slice over my grilled fish.  We both experienced total gastronomy glow.

After rubber necking around the place for a bit we called a car and headed back to the ship. Our time in Muscat had come to an end. I cannot wait to come back. The ship sailed at sunset and we leaned over the railings and watched as the old town faded from view and the Sultan’s palace stretched along the coast.
                                                              (The Sultan's Palace)
We then dressed for dinner, headed to the champagne bar like we do every night where Suzy and Rusty (both Philippino, she is always freakishly excited to see us and he is a petite old school, fly swatting, queen) greet us and make mother some fruity champagne cocktail and make me a Knob Creek Manhattan. Hence how I barely remember the end of every evening. And they always give us half a glass full of more booze so one drink is really like two and a half. Everyone was in a spirited mood and looked so nice. Where are these people when I’m sitting poolside sandwiched between two whale monger Germans hacking and smoking?

After dinner we looked around the shops and all of a sudden I noticed some 10 foot blond German man staring at me. What? Oh! He was giving the ole gay cruise stare! He kept looking at things and then giving the coy slow head turn in my direction. How exciting! The old boys still got it! So I introduce myself and all of a sudden he is a babbling, shy mess who says he has to go because he has friends and family waiting on him. Clearly I’m not looking for love but he could of at least joined me and mom for a nightcap.

It was 10pm and I told mom we should really try to stay up just a little longer and have one more drink. She looked at me and just said, “Why?” Indeed. We were in bed at 10:30 after a photo shoot with our swan towel.

Tomorrow, a day at sea. My dream come true!




Manic for Muscat



Today was the day. I finally feel like I am in the Arab world! Muscat is everything I wanted in this trip. We pulled into port this morning and the glorious mountains, blue sea and white buildings were a majestic site. And what the hell is that 60’s looking acid hut? I would come to find out it is a sculpture of an incense burner! Since they are so popular here they decided to build a gigantic one.

But that is the only gigantic thing in this harbor. Unlike Dubai, residents aren’t allowed to build their homes higher than three stories.
And put your fears to rest, we have not seen any violence here. There was talk of some protests against the Sultan recently but everything in Muscat is perfect from what we can see.

We took a tour with the cruise ship and had a delightful day seeing the mosque, souq and museum. Our guide, Kallil was terribly informative (and cute!) and told me all about the male national dress of Oman. He even taught me how to tie a turban Omani style! Get ready this summer people.

First stop was the Sultan’s mosque. He had it built in 2001 with his own money and nobody knows what he spent but whatever it costs, it is astounding. The grounds reminded me of the Taj Mahal with fountains running in every angle and beautiful grass and flora. Women of course have to be robed. Luckily I had an Abaya that was a gift from a friend from Dubai when I was living in London so mother had that. Kallil taught her how to tie it around her face for maximum discretion.

The inside of the mosque was spectacular. It is the largest in Oman and the third largest in the Middle East. The chandelier is Swarovski crystal and weighs eight tons. The rug was woven in Iran by 400 women in sections, then brought to the mosque and sewn together. It weighs 21 tons. I could have stayed in there forever. I wish one day I could pray along with the other men in such a place but I don’t think that day will come. Such a spectacular place to be at one with God.
(Kallil showing us how they wash up before prayers)

Next stop was the souq. It’s right on the lovely Corniche and I went hog wild buying the local hats, head wraps, Frankincense incense and oil (divine!) and other assorted gifts. This was the best souq I have ever been in. Not only were there loads of interesting things to look at and buy, but everyone was so nice. I will never forget the harassing I experienced in Istanbul.

Next stop was a former home that was converted into a cultural museum. There was a whole section dedicated to the men’s dress.  Who knew those things that look like bullets on necklaces were actually full of kohl and used as eyeliner to protect from the sun! (Same as Football players just much chicer)

The last stop was the Sultan’s palace, which is only used for formal occasions. I want an invitation! It looks so swinging 60’s.

Finally it was back to the ship. As soon as we were in our suite I had peeled off my western wear and slipped into my dishdashah and scarf. I am finally in my element. Mother and I had a quick lunch and then I glided back out to the city in my new attire. It was so lovely just strolling the Corniche, watching the fish, bird and boats bobbing.

I went back to the souq and spent two hours just strolling around, talking to vendors, touching fabrics and inhaling the thick scents. Everyone loved my native embrace and kept yelling, “Salaam Said!”
                                                                   (The Sultan's yacht)
Finally I ordered a freshly made juice and just sat staring at the sea sunning. This is my heaven. Relaxation and wind whipping up my drawers.


I came back to the ship to rest before drinks and dinner. It’s a ‘white party’ tonight on the ship so I guess I’ll be staying in this dishdashah for the duration!

The Boat!

Ok, please give me one totally snobby post about this boondocks boat we are sailing on, then it will be out of my system!

We boarded ship yesterday at 1pm. We have always known this wasn't the kind of ship we were used to. For years we have been cruising around on tiny Windstar sailboat yachts or Regent luxury liners from Greece to Lisbon and Russia. But we heard about this trip and thought it would be a lark to go cheap and see the Middle East.

The ship itself is beautiful and well done but the people! I don't know which country does inbreeding better, England or Germany but they are all on this ship. Throw in some Russians and Portuguese too. So not only can we not communicate with many passengers (that goes for the English too with their cockney!) but every announcement is made in four languages.

Then there is the food. Lunch is a free for all food line of all you can eat of everything I wouldn't. But these people are pushing, scrambling, inhaling everything in site. Can I please just get some chicken salad? Dinner so far has been good and we got an awesome wine list. The champagne bar can't be beat either.

Then there is the branding of this entire situation. I just don't get why Royal Caribbean think's middle aged men from Cork would want to hear rap and bad 80's music piped through the entire ship? And then the bands poolside are so loud I have avoided the area all together. Does Ivana from Yugoslavia like that? I have no idea. And every time you turn a corner there is someone dressed as a dolphin or holding a life ring (?) while an Adam Lambert look alike (although it's a girl) springs out of nowhere to take your picture.

Besides all of this, our suite is lovely (although the fact that it is a suite and that we were supposed to share this tiny room with my sister, Happy, is deranged) with a large balcony, the crew is sweet, the gym is fantastic and all in all, you simply can't go wrong waking up listening to the waves lapping and pulling into an exotic port.

This morning we pulled into Fujairah (Fellatia!) and mother in I took the shuttle into the city center and hired a cab to take us to the Friday Market where were were to find glittery table runners for gifts and a solid ball of camels milk which I bit into and nearly gagged so hard I turned inside out. Leave it to me!

We then headed back and just relaxed on deck. Tonight is formal night! So I'm sure Ms. Lambert will be in full force with the camera. But we will take it in stride after a champagne flute or two.


Tomorrow Mystical Muscat!

Dubai Day Three

With a little Advil at 8am, we managed to wake up and be ready for our day trip to Sharjah after our boozy night before.

So how did I meet a Sheikha from Sharjah? My friend Faris from BOFFO told me he had a friend who was not only a Princess but a major player in the art world in the Middle East.
Her Biennial is coming up on the 14th (the day I head back to the States!) and loads of A list art world people are heading over to check it out.

Clearly, this was someone I had to meet. Hoor emailed me right back with an invitation to visit her in Sharjah and included a full itinerary for the day.

At 9:30am her driver Aslam met us at the hotel and took us to her Emirate. It was so different from Dubai. Not nearly as glitzy there was a real feeling of history here. Their corniche was so elegant with French inspired light posts and a pinkish stone balustrade curving around it reminded mother and I of the Riviera.  There is a much more cozy atmosphere in Sharjah which isn't exactly an adjective people relate to the Emirates.

                                                                 (an elephant clock!)

Next stop was the Heritage Museum where we learned about local crafts, culture and food. Everyone was so sweet and even wanted a picture with us. It was a nice change from malls and skyscrapers and a reminder that there was actually life here before oil.

       (The guide is putting incense under mothers shirt. This is how they used to clean their       clothes when there wasn't much water around)

We finally met Hoor (that is not her above!)  at the art museum and she took us around the permanent exhibits as well as the installations for the Biennial. It's going to be an amazing event and I'm sorry I'm missing it. In two years I'll come back!
        (An artists instillation at the museum. Lets hope it doesn't rain before the show!)

Wel left Hoor to her work and headed to the big Souq. We were so very excited to check it out and to get some gifts (the soul here isn't as touristy as the ones in Dubai) but alas, we got there at 3 while everyone is closed for prayers! Out of 200 shops maybe four were open. Sad face.

Aslam took us back to Dubai where we changed clothes and headed back out for an evening in the desert. This was one of those touristy events that everyone does while here. We were a bit afraid. We were put into a van with another family and kids from America and whisked out to the desert outside of Dubai, about an hour drive. We all got out, our driver, Babylon let the air out of the tires and we took off on the dunes.

This could of been amusing except he put in a CD of his favorite techno hits and turned it on full blast AND sang along. Let me tell you, a Kenyan screeching Katy Perry's Fireworks, is not something you want to hear in your lifetime.

Once he was done with that he dropped mother and I off with a Pakistani man and some camels and said he would see us for dinner. OK! Mother and I stumbled onto these beasts, nearly fell off when they stood up and then clambered around the sand dunes watching ths sun set and listening to the wind, a great relief after the techno tragic van ride.



Our guide finally led us to our camp, a lovely curtained affair with rugs strewn about, a shisha and loads of pillows. We asked where everyone else went and our cook told us they were all taken to a camp that seats 200. PTL we didn't end up there!



Wine was poured, food was served in abundance and mother and I watched the sunset, listened to the night and watched the desert mice as they rand between our feet for crumbs. Babylon came back to help cook and he was good fun when he wasn't singing.


They turned off all the lanterns and we just stared into the sky for a long time, mother drinking, while I hit the hookah. The perfect evening.

We got back to the hotel around 11pm and mother was in bed before her clothes were off. I packed and passed out fairly fast. Shisha and wine can do that to you.

Tomorrow the boat!

Dubai Day Two

Today was a rather relaxed day. Thank God since Friday was spin city!
We woke up at ten (I was still feeling sick/sinusy/achy) had a quick breakfast then read in the room till 12:30.
Then it was time for our high tea at the Burj Al Arab! That's the seven star hotel situated on its own island. We taxied over, gave our name and reservation number to security (nobody is allowed in to just gawk at the splendor) and zizzed up to the main entrance.

It's hard not to be amazed at this place. The fountains, the colors, the 'world's largest atrium' but the interiors kind of remind me of something from Epcot in the 80's.




We snooped around the shops and found a dazzling diamond studded gun before sitting down for a seven course, two hour tea. HEAVEN!

I had an aromatic lotus blossom tea and immediately began sweating like a pig in heat. Fever breaking! I sweated it out for the rest of the day and am now sick free, that was some tea.
We dined on sammiches, mixed fruit, scones, salmon, pastries and champagne while listening to live Arabic music and later a piano while gazing out at the jewel colored sea. We could of stayed for hours.



Afterwards we took the glass elevator up to the top of the hotel to see the Sky Bar that overlooks the ocean. We attempt to walk in and a hostess kindly asks us if we have a reservation.
"No, we just want to have a drink."
"I'm sorry sir but the bar is closed for high tea."
After we thought our high tea was so chic we find out we could of booked in the Sky Bar with Lucite piano and spectacular views! Now we know for next time.

We then go from 7 star to no star as we head to the Karama shopping center in the poor area of Dubai (yes, there is one) where we were told to go to get leather sandals that a friend found there and my sister fell in love with. Hell on Earth! Buzzed with champagne we enter a cave like mall with dirty floors, broken lights and children running rampant with men shouting at us, "Marc Jacobs bags! Marc Jacobs Bags! Rolex!" talk about culture shock. We never found the sandals and run out as fast as possible.

We head back to the hotel and walk over to the mall. I had to do more damage at the Arabic tailors shop (gifts!) and wanted to see what the Harvey Nichols was like over here (small but cute!).
                                                 (The highlight for us at Emirates Mall!)
                                                    (Blinged out Bumper Pool Game!)
        (Some of the younger Emirate men wear their head scarves with a certain pizazz!)
Then we came home, did a quick change and Ian picked us up at 7pm for dinner at his and Karen's house.

I met them in Botswana and Chloe and Peter's wedding and they have lived in Dubai for six years (from South Africa) where they run a film company. They live in a big old house not far from our hotel with a Jack Russell and a big white dog that is wild, temperamental and totally adorable.

                                               (Loving this table cloth from Africa)

                                                  (They are just playing, I promise)

They invited a load of friends and family over and we drank, ate and laughed till 11pm. If only I could write the stories I heard about the middle east on this blog! But I think I may have a head hunter out for me if I did. There is nothing like spending time in a friends house in a far away place to really feel comfortable in a city. And it was quite odd to be sipping wine poolside with the call to prayer from the local mosque blaring all around us. 

                                                               ("And here is Fellatia")
                                            (Ian's grandmothers leopard coat from the 1930's)
Karen showed me her chickens who lay eggs for their breakfast and Ian's Biltong maker which he brought from South Africa (Salman you would love that thing!).

Since drinking and driving results in a year in jail, Ian called us a cab then showed us a map of the Persian Gulf and was showing us the route our ship would be sailing. Mother asked in the most serious tone, "So tell me where Fellatia is..."
Pause
Pause
ROARING Laughter.
She meant Fujairah. Fellatio was the word of the evening. 


Off to bed and tomorrow a day a Sharjah with their Sheikha.