Buying The 118



I still feel like I am in a foggy dream. I think reality will soak in when I wake up in Harlem tomorrow morning. I bought a home in Charleston. A true dream come true. Last New Year’s Eve I wrote a wish and put it in the annual NYE resolution jar at Claire’s house. It read, ‘Two Years Till Charleston.’ Who knew it would happen only 11 months later?



I came down to Charleston in September to spend 12 days and to see if I truly wanted to live there part time. To feel out the neighborhoods, people, energy. To sum it up, I teared up every day with sheer happiness. 

-Riding my bike down cobble stone streets with a pink sunset guiding my way - magic. 

-Watching Fergus run wild in the dog park with friendly dogs, nice neighbors and cool breezes - so special. 

-Sitting at Nick’s dining room table and writing, working, emailing as wind chimes gonged and the sweet smell of Coastal Carolina wafted through the house - I was home.

Just to feel out the real estate I reached out to Claire and Abigail’s real estate agent, Nancy Rehm at Century 21. We set a date to meet at Starbucks and open dialogue on what I was looking for. If you ever buy in Charleston, buy from Nancy. First of all she is an absolute Southern hoot. The things that fell out of her mouth had me exploding internally from hysterical laughter. And God help you if she turns on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal- it’s an apocalyptic hissy fit and I loved every minute of it.




She is also damn smart, savvy and held my hand through every aspect of this buy. The next day she handed me a folder of houses to look at and the first one was 118 Spring Street between Rutledge and Ashley. We drove over, parked next to a church and took a look around. Built in 1890 the home is a traditional ‘Charleston Single’. Three bedrooms, two piazzas (they aren’t called porches or balconies in old world Charleston) and lots of doors. Apparently there used to be a tax on the number of doors facing the street, so everyone built their houses long ways with one door on the front and the rest on the side. 

The bay window has two panels of color blocked stained glass and the door was painted purple. I was in love although we walked into Armageddon. The home was bought by a family for their daughter to live in while going to College of Charleston but once she graduated it turned into a college kid fantasy land with four people bunking in, one in the living room turned bedroom, complete with Jameson bottles on the mantle and a rebel flag on the wall.




Student life never ceases to amaze me. In the dining room turned living room there was a mini bar fridge next to the sofa so stoners wouldn’t have to get up and go in the kitchen (the next room) to get a beer.  Above the mantle in that room was a list of ‘Top Ten Quotes to Get Laid’. I kind of wish I kept it.  The bathroom toilets were black with scum (that was the girls room mind you) and the garden was piled sky high with beer and wine bottles. But we saw through all that to the bones, the light, the great Magnolia seen from the back bedroom and the amazing location. 




Next door is Black Bean, one of my favorite health food restaurants, across the street is Octo Batchi, an udon noodle bar, one block away is Xiao Bao Biscuit, a brand new hip Chinese restaurant opened by a couple from Brooklyn, one street away is my favorite restaurant in the world, Hominy Grill and next door to that is a Mexican bar and restaurant called Fuel, located in an old gas station. 

On the west side of the house is a church. Bingo. No rowdy frat boys living next door keeping me up. And I love a tambourine shaking on a Sunday morning. This also leaves me with great views from the top floor piazza. I was hooked.




We looked at five or six more places. One old Victorian on Charlotte Street had 20 foot ceilings and ornate fireplaces in every room, but it needed so much work and was so far away from everything that it didn’t seem worth it. We looked at a couple of duplexes in old houses but for my first home I don’t want to hear heels clicking above me and to have to share a yard with who knows what. 

We visited 118 again, this time Claire came too. She did a thorough inspection and was surprised at its space, condition and location. I had found my home.




I will spare you the next two months of closing procedures. They were relatively painless (Thank You SunTrust!) minus a really horrid situation with my now fired tax accountant who wouldn’t send us some paper work because ‘I am on vacation, I don’t need your money, don’t call my office again.’ Gladly! 

I flew back down Thursday November 29th to close on Friday. I went to dinner with a friend at Hominy and walked by the house. Although the kids got keys to their new home four days ago they were moving out the night before I closed. It was a spin out but one of them saw us looking at the house and asked if I bought it. He was kind enough to let us come in and much to my chagrin nothing was packed or moved! 

I went to bed with a bit of a yank in my stomach and woke up the day of the closing at 8am and took Fergus for a walk back over there, hiding behind a flower shop so I didn’t look like I was stalking them. Sure enough the kids were still pouring beds and sofas out of the house. The cleaning crew arrived and there was no way they could clean with so much still in there so they would come in on Saturday. But the house was glowing in the morning sun and I saw it from a new angle and with new love. Teary eyed again. 


The closing went smoothly and once it was over Nancy dropped me off at the house to putter around. It was finally empty and finally mine. I walked back to Nick’s house, picked up Fergus and brought him back to explore. He is enamored with the second floor piazza where he can bask in the sun yet still hold watch over the street. I went across the street to the deli and met the owner, Charlie. He is a sweet older man and he welcomed me to the area. I bought the essentials: soap, Solo cups and beer. I was having some friends over that night to celebrate and had zero. Rodrigo came over and we cleared the trash from the front yard and sides, raked the back (with a borrowed rake from Abigail) and had a couple of beers until Abigail and Claire arrived. Abigail brought me my own rake, a tool box and a poinsettia as house warming gifts. Claire followed with champagne and wine glasses. 




It was so special to spend the first evening in my first home with some of my oldest friends who I met in Charleston back in 1994. Full circle. We then went to Xiao Bao Biscuit for dinner, had a little too much to drink and then weaved back to our respective homes. My mattress would be delivered in the morning so I had to wait one night to spend the night in the new home.








Saturday was a little fuzzy but Claire and I did serious TCB. We headed out to Marshall’s home goods store and went through our list we made on a soy sauce stained napkin the previous night of everything from trash cans, comforters, pillows, bottle openers to scrub brushes, cleaning supplies and a coffee maker. We then zizzed home for the mattress delivery and darted back out to Lowe’s for ladders, light bulbs and yard bags. Once we were done I washed those sheets as fast as I could before plopping down on my new bed and taking a nap with Fergus. 




That night I had dinner with Li, Punchy and Wade at Fleet’s Landing and caught a glimpse of the holiday boat parade.  I can’t wait to be a part of that next year on Abigail’s boat. We then came back to 118 and broke open some bottles of wine and enjoyed a warm winter night on the piazza, my new drinking spot. 




Sunday was another whirlwind. My contractor, Anthony, and his cousin Damond met me at the house at 10:30am and we dropped Fergus off at Abigail’s for a puppy play date then headed to Home Depot to figure everything out for the renovation. It is so difficult to pick out everything you need and want in such a short period of time for a place that you hope to be in for a very long time, but we did it. New sinks, faucets, tiles, lighting, gas range, paint colors (this place is going to be poppin’ with color!) and cabinets. Both Anthony and Damond are very good at what they do and had great ideas that helped narrow down choices and make the best decisions. 




Once we were done with that gargantuan task we were starving. I offered to take them to lunch and they asked what I wanted. “Soul Food please”. “Anthony turned around from the drivers seat and peered over his glasses, “Oh you want soul food? I got you covered Mister Cator.” And with that he drove us to his uncle’s house where he left us waiting in the car only to return with a plastic bag for each of us filled with home cooked fried chicken, collards, dirty rice with sausage, sweet potato pie and the best damn crab cakes I have ever tasted. You show me a contractor in New York that will take you down the river of family cooked soul food.

I inhaled the crab cakes in the car and saved the rest for later where I could get nasty with it all alone. We then stopped by his dad’s restaurant where he offered us jumbo cups of sweet iced tea and sat down and discussed the renovations with us. He is a contractor too and had some very good ideas. He was such a lovely man, truly caring and his Gullah patois was delicious to listen to. 

On that note Anthony drove me home where I sat in my kitchen and dug my fingers deep in that juicy, greasy chicken, fried to perfection. Tears of joy welled up again. How blessed have I been on this journey? 

That night was the first I had all to myself in the house. I picked up Fergus from Abigail's and helped her decorate her tree then walked home, sat in bed and worked for several hours before passing out with one big deep breath of gratitude before falling fast asleep after such a busy day and a belly full of home cooking.




Monday was busy just picking up last minute things for the house, locks, batteries, etc. and biking around Charleston learning where I am in the city and trying to remember street names and directions. It was my first morning to wake up and lay out my yoga mat and meditate on my piazza. The sun was intense at 8am and Fergus joined me in stretches. Having that time with him really sealed in the joy of owning this home.





This morning we moved the yoga mat to the soon-to-be master bedroom and laid on the floor together and gazed at the great Magnolia. I can’t wait until that is my morning view next spring when it is in full bloom. 




I am now back in New York, settled into 202. Fergus is passed out since he gets nervous flying, and the sun is setting over Harlem. It’s such a wonderful feeling knowing that 118 is down there, locked up, ready to be spruced up and to be the setting for the next great chapter of my life.



New Orleans in Review





Mama has been to New Orleans several times but I had only been once for a long weekend when I was 17 and in a French emersion program at Georgia Tech. Clearly, I don’t remember much. I was eagerly awaiting this part of the trip since so many friends in New York rave about modern New Orleans and how it will be my spirit home.
                                                                       (Soniat House)



Sadly, I missed what they find magical and I don’t see myself returning there. I think some people who don’t know the South find this the perverted, dark South they read about. I guess there is that, but spending so much time in the incredibly elegant cities of Charleston and Savannah, New Orleans simply fell flat.
                                               (His face and her arms had me in stitches)

                           (Check out the needlepoint belt we found mama's going to make for me!)

                           (Fantastic Perfumeur- Thank you Douglas Little for introducing me!)


It had it’s highlights. Our hotel, Soniat House, was sublime. I will never forget those biscuits.

Commanders Palace lunch was amusing, Galatoire’s was chaotic but epic Red Fish menieuiere, potato soufflé and Oysters Rockefeller. The carousel bar was a hoot and I nearly got sick spinning around that thing. I loved, loved Magazine Street and its charming boutiques and great antiques and Myscha Lake belting out standards at The Spotted Cat was gorgeous. And who can complain about the architecture?

                                                            (The Garden District)





But the amount of drunk, delirious, drug riddled people that greet you at every corner in every area was sad to me and mother, not to mention scary. We were admiring the beauty of a white husky regally perched on the sidewalk while his filthy owner was drinking and attempting to play a guitar. When another dog came up to say hello the owner grabbed the husky by the collar and threw him against a wall. Mother and I were so angry and certainly said something but he just threw an F-bomb our way and went on looking for discarded cigarettes. Another man yelled at his son so loudly we just ducked into a corner to wait for him to pass. A drunk man was waving his paper bag of booze around so violently in front of the Carousel Bar even the door man got nervous. And you can forget Bourbon Street.


I didn’t find any of it charming, amusing or exciting. It was just dirty, depressing and dangerous. Those poor 18 year old girls slouched up against poles in thongs and too big heels waiting for customers just turned my stomach.


              (The New Orleans Athletic Club- jogged over for a quick workout and a rubber neck)




Maybe I’m getting old! Maybe I am in a different head space, regardless, it soured the city for me. One place I did go gaga for was the New Orleans Athletic Club. Our hotel has  free passes for guests so I got up Tuesday morning and jogged over to the Edwardian explosion for a little work out. The marble slab showers, indoor pool and deep red drinking room were enough to make me want to move in. 


                                        (Myscha Lake belting out standards at The Spotted Cat)

This morning mama and I woke up for one last biscuit before heading to the airport on the busiest travel day of the year. We were blessed with great weather, no traffic and two hours to spare before our on time flights. 

I can only imagine what boat we will float on next be it on the Nile, the Ashely or Bosphorus. Stay tuned. 

American Queen Adventure Last Day!


On a lark the night before we realized we had nothing to do in St. Francisville and asked about the ‘Mystery, Mayhem’ tour. Ended up sounding too bizarre to pass up. So we booked our tickets to see a haunted plantation and visit Angola prison. Seriously.







The tour started at 8am so we hustled and grumbled in the morning and made it on the bus in time. Seeing the landscape of Louisiana was wonderful. Very lush, lots of spanish moss and ramshackle old mansions, cabins, barns and stables. 



We arrived at Myrtle Plantation at 9am, just in time for the poor souls paying to stay there to get bombarded by peppy people ready for a tour. You can google the plantation to get the full story on the haunting but here is what I recall:



A slave girl was spending a great deal of time with the master of the plantation. They were getting so friendly that she wanted him all to herself. She began eavesdropping on his wife to hear if she said anything bad about her. After getting caught too many times they had her ear sliced off as a reminder to stop eaves dropping. From then on she wore a turban to hide the mutilation. 

She still wanted to prove her love to her master so she devised a plan. She would bake a cake for the children and add just a bit of Oleander to it. The kids would get sick and she would heal them with her special medicine and the family would find her invaluable. Well she added too much Oleander and the children and the wife all died from poisoning. The slave was then hung and her body weighted down by bricks in her apron, sunk to the bottom of the Mississippi. 

Boo!




Now she haunts the house, her silhouette can be seen in the living room mirror and a picture of her floating near the house was passed around in excitement. The woman of the house was very superstitious and that is why there are crosses on all the windows around the doors and key holes are turned upside down to confuse naughty spirits.





Ghosts and ghoul aside the home is incredibly gorgeous. The owners brought a plaster worker back with them from France and he lived with them for years creating all the moldings and cornices. 





Next stop was Angola prison, one of America’s maximum security prisons. But what makes this one so unique is that it is a working farm as well. The prison owns 18,000 acres and raises horses, blood hounds, wolf hybrids as well as acres of crops and cattle.


They also are famous for their rodeos which look highly amusing yet terrifying. The thought that every man you see in there has murdered someone kind of takes the joy out of any of it for me. Don’t get me started on the museum! It was like a haunted house with hand built coffins, images of bludgeoned inmates and weapons they have created over the years to escape or kill. No thank you.



Tonight was our last night on board. I was still pretty weary from the night before and rising at the crack for the tour. But we had a lovely dinner, watched the final show (Christmas themed!) and went to the Engine Room Bar for one last drink and goodbye to all the people we met.





I was pleasantly surprised at how lovely this boat was. I would go again for sure. But they must get their marketing team organized and advertise in places other than AARP. Also, a coat requirement for dinner would be nice since way too many leisure suits, puff paint tees and just plain tee-shirts were worn every night. I kept day dreaming of renting the entire boat for all my friends and family and having burlesque nightly in the main saloon and theme nights for the evenings- 20s night! Caftan Queen! Dress as your favorite Southern Idol!






Tomorrow we disembark, say goodbye to Rod and Dotty and settle into New Orleans for two days of discovery and liquor. 

American Queen Adventure Day Six





I am renaming Vicksburg, ‘Sicksburg’. Holy hot dog I haven’t been that queasy since college. Thank you to the crew for Patron and fried everything! But it was fun to see people who I have encountered daily and now I know them quite well after our wild night. Oh that waitress was twirling! That server was vogueing! I think I motor boated that cleaning lady! 




We had quite a lovely day in ‘The Red Carpet To The South’ as Vicksburg calls itself. We opted out of all the Civil War battleground tours and decided to stroll the main street with it’s lovely shops and head to a handsome antebellum home for lunch. Anchuca was the home of Jefferson Davis’ brother and Jefferson gave an important speech from it’s balcony in 1865. I googled for great places to eat in town and this stoic B&B popped up for having some of the finest dining in the area. 






Dotty, Rod, Mom and I walked the quiet gentile neighborhoods until we found the house. There we had awesome chicken salad, pecan pie and iced tea then took a tour of the home and poked around the bedrooms and gardens. We then strolled back to the court house where we waited for about 20 minutes for the tour bus to pick us up to take us back to the boat.




Oddly enough that was a highlight for me. We don’t ‘just sit’ nearly enough these days and it harkened back to an era pre cell phones where one would simply sit and wait patiently for a ride to come. I organized acorns from a massive oak and made them into a little work of art. Then I took the tops off and made them into Lady Gaga nail extensions. Mom and Dotty just sat in the sun and baked while Rod toured around the block spotting the random curiosities he is known to find (Cator, did you see that purple glitter car?!). Serenity.



We finally got picked up and headed back to the boat where I rested up for dinner and our nightly activities. I did pop up to the Front Porch for a snack and discovered the hot dog machine. Hot Dog! While I was making mine, Carli, one of the waitresses asked me to pull two off the grill for her. She then refused my offer of two hot buns but instead, quietly plopped them both in a cup and sashayed off. I about hemorrhaged in shock and awe and requested a picture. God Bless that girl.






That evening the entertainers presented a show called ‘Walking in Memphis’. Lots of glitter, gospel and blues. Very entertaining. And on that note I crashed. My liver sent a little blessing to heaven.




American Queen Adventure Day Five



Today was a day on the river. We paddled down with the goal to reach Vicksburg  around 6pm. Success! Days on the water are my favorite - sleeping late, painting, lots of gym time, loads of reading and relaxing and meditating on the water. 

                                          (Sunrise painting of birds, buoys and sand bars)

I was pretty tired from the night before so I was sure I would be in bed by 10pm. Wrong. Some of the crew invited me to head into town for ‘a drink’ when we arrived at port. I turned them down, Mother called me a wimp so I rallied and headed out. 


                                  (Our sizzlin' waitress Dorothy posing with me and Mr. Keenan)


We found a surprisingly good lookin’ bar called The Biscuit Factory. It is an old brick building with a nice bar, fried everything and....wait....karaoke. And therein is my downfall.


Children, Uncle Cator got drunker than Cooter Brown. It really wasn’t my fault. 


The crew ordered about six rounds of Patron shots in a row. We ordered so much that the bartender had to drive to the liquor store - twice! It started out with 5-6 of us but the drunker we got, the more texts went out and by the end of the night there were around 45 crew members at the bar dancing, singing, smoking and eventually playing strip foozball. That’s right folks! I ended up wearing some dude’s cowboy boots around the bar while singing ‘Jolene




You know I had to sing a song or twelve. The one’s I remember singing are:

‘Proud Mary’- Twice - Did anyone realize this song is about Steam Boats? (Big wheels keep on turning/Rolling down the river)

‘Cabaret’ - You know, my standard party popper

‘Rehab’ - Don’t ever sing this drunk. It doesn’t work

‘Islands in the Stream’ - With another crew member. The highlight of the evening


There may have been more but I don’t remember. I do remember twirling a girl around the dance floor and when I picked her up and spun her around everyone screamed with excitement. We are famous! Actually, I had lifted her skirt above her butt and revealed everything to everyone. Dang it. 

Thank God for the fried Jalapeno’s, fried cheese dongs, french fries and fried pickles. There was a Civil War in my stomach for sure. 

We bobbled back to the boat around 3am. The next day was truly a black day on The American Queen for half the staff. Zombie boat!


American Queen Adventure Day Four


Favorite day so far! 


We met Rod and Dotty in the dining room for breakfast and then puttered up the ramp and to a tour bus to The Peabody Hotel to see the famous ducks march into the fountain at 11am. Now, I am usually game for just about anything and I was a little excited to see this fabled event but I have to admit- Not Worth It!

We fumbled around for 30 minutes and then some goof came out looking like a ring leader and gave us the history of the ducks in the fountain. That was amusing- it all started with two drunks sneaking their live duck decoys into the fountain and leaving them in there overnight to the delight of guests.

But then the music filled the room, the elevators opened and five ducks waddled about 10 feet into the fountain and that was it. I thought they may march around the fountain, room, bar, Christmas tree. NOPE. Is that all there is?

After that little life disappointment we moseyed to Walgreens to buy iPhone chargers (American Queen please stock theses ASAP) and also picked up Elvis Christmas ornaments. Yes, we have already caught the King Fever.



We then tooled back to the boat, grabbed some coffee and caught another bus for the ‘In Elvis’ Footsteps’ tour. Sounds like a Jesus tour in Israel, right? 

First stop was Sun Studios where Presley recorded his first song. He wanted to sing something for his Mama’s birthday so went in and paid $4 to cut a single to give to her. How sweet is that? The secretary noticed his talent and played a copy for the owner. The rest is glittery history. Of course Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins and Ike Turner all recorded there too, so it’s pretty iconic. 



What I loved is how broke down it is. They haven’t glazed it over with stucco and tile. The front is still a diner and sells crappy milkshakes, Rockabillie’s run the whole place and bands from around the world have left their stickers all over the place. The recording studio amazingly hasn’t been touched since the old days and people still record in there.



                                                          (Elvis stood RIGHT here!)

As great as it was, the tour left us there for two hours. Way too long! Then we had to speed over to Graceland and twirl around there to get to the boat in time for departure. Nerds. Get it together people!


Yet Graceland was total magic. I never thought I would enjoy it like I did. We were so pleased that we caught it in it’s full Christmas glory! Apparently Elvis decorated the place himself and he was a big window shopper. The Jungle Room was inspired from the circular wooden chair in the corner that Elvis found and fell in love with.


The white sofa that stretches an entire room as a highlight as was his tufted pool room and poodle wallpaper in his parents bathroom. The clothing collection in the former racket ball court building was dazzling and awe inspiring! Plus all the memorabilia from around the world was totally tickety boo.











Sadly, we were a bit rushed so I missed seeing his car collection but we did get some shopping time in and it was well worth it! Total crap tat but hey, it’s a must. 










I was really impressed how beautiful Graceland is. The home’s exterior and the rolling hills and huge old trees look like Kentucky. Sadly, the horses were not at pasture but the fall colors were pitch perfect.

Since tomorrow is a ‘day at sea’ Rod and I decided to push the booze button and turn it out! We had Manhattans before dinner, wine with dinner, mango martini’s in the Engine Room and champagne in the room where we hosted two crew members for lots of laughs and falling yoga poses. Weeeee! 


                                                  (My first panorama pic on the trip!)








The American Queen Adventure Day 3



 Today was a rather relaxing one. New Madrid is a rickety little ole town so there isn’t much to see. It has quite a history though. 200 years ago it was the epicenter of an earthquake so tremendous that church bells vibrated as far north as Toronto. A steam boat called ‘The New Orleans’ was nearby and passengers witnessed geysers of mud shooting out of fields, collapsing banks and part of the river actually changed direction and flowed north because of the seismic shift.




Needless to say, there isn’t much to see in a fault line! But we did tour a lovely antebellum house. Built in 1860 the Hunter-Dawson house was home to a family of local store owners.



The wife trekked to Saint Louis and bought piles of rococo and Italianate furniture that never left the house. The family sold it to the city in 1966 and here it sits. I love the petticoat closet! And the husbands room is mighty handsome. Rod went gaga over the hyper-patterned wallpaper and carpet.



           
                                                                   (Petticoats!)




After touring the home we went back to the boat, had lunch, and then I worked a bit in the Gentleman’s Card Room overlooking the bow of the boat.


                                                                        (The Calliope!)


                                            (Stacks down so we can squeeze under a bridge)


Then came the now comical routine of the evening- dinner at 5:15 followed by lounge show, floor show and engine room night cap (at 9:15!).




Quote of the night from the lounge singer:
“Why don’t y’all take a Fats Waller of your cocktail!” Get it? 

The highlight was ‘Mr. Banjo’ - Mike Gentry. Everyone knows I am fiending  for my own banjo so I was twitterpatted to catch his act. He is everything. Gentry has the white, waxed mustache, his banjo is 24 carat gold with ebony on the neck and pearl on the peg head. He played ‘dueling banjos’ with the pianist, which was awesome. Sadly, there was no ‘Rainbow Connection’ but he didn’t disappoint in the talent arena. 

                                                    Tomorrow is Memphis and ELVIS! 

The American Queen Adventure Day 2


Tuesday was surprisingly fun. Cape Girardeau is a pretty little town and it is chock full of antique and vintage stores. It was almost eery how every single store on Main Street was military antiques, flea markets, china shops, doll shops, where did all of this oldness come from?

We did discover a truly Southern stop- The Paula Deen ‘Living’ store. Apparently she has an entire furniture collection, much of it was pretty nice too. One piece we all fell in love with that was not part of the Deen Dream Home Collection was a wicker and metal pagoda chandelier with little China men sitting around it and gazing down to the floor. Kind of fab for the Charleston house! We are working with them on shipping to see if it happens. 



We then came back to the boat for lunch in the dining room and then a little down time to catch up on work and rest. At 5:15 it dinner time! Our waitress requires much investigation.  Dorothy is from Charleston and very pretty and quiet but when she speaks she always has a snappy comment that sends me into fits.



When Rod walked in wearing a loden green hat with peacock feather adornment she just whispered, “Ooooh I love that hat. It’s real nasty!” Later when she was taking our order I asked what the catch of the day was. “It’s catfish. But I bet you don’t eat catfish. You are too classy for catfish aren’t ya?” I got a wink and a smile out of that one. I bet she has a one woman show in some church basement that would bring me the greatest joy.


                                          (Cocktails with the Captain, Bobby and Ms. Jackie)


We dined then headed to the lounge to hear the resident singer, Leah belt some tunes out. One of our new friends from the ship, Larry Cox Jr. who is part of the show cast onboard, sang a tune or two, one dedicated to Dotty, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.  It was very sweet.

(Larry Cox Jr. crooning)

Then we waddled down the hall to the main stage to hear Peter Mintun. He is a pianist from New York and a friend with the Governors Island flapper crew. Heidi from the Frick connected us and we had a lovely chat before he went on. He didn’t play anything past 1928 and every song had to do with New York. Very entertaining and charming.

(Mr. Peter Mintun!)

For the last act we headed to the infamous Engine Room to hear Ms. Jackie and Bobby bust it out for their 50s and 60s night. They tore it up and my little lady from the night before dragged my hung over ass back to the dance floor to twist through two songs. 

By the wee hour of 10:15pm I had to call it a night. Mama and I dragged back to the room where we both passed out by 11. Vacation brain is settling in!

PS- I am still not quite sure what happened on the first night but I keep getting people coming up to me asking when I am on again...


The American Queen Adventure Day 1





What happened last night? I remember being in the ‘Engine Room’ bar and I think I was singing ‘Rainbow Connection’ with a gorgeous woman who looked like Paula Deen but skinnier and lots more amusing. It is 7:16am and my head is a mud pie. God help me when I see my bar tab. Oh and I think someone is taking me to a music store to buy a banjo today too. Lord, and who was that little old German lady that I spun around the dance floor so fast we almost fell over?


All in a nights work on my first night on the American Queen paddle boat cruise down the Mississippi River. 

How did I end up on this thing? I think it had to do with a bottle or two of wine as well. I remember about six months ago, Rod got a phone call from his mama, Dotty. “Well I just booked a trip on a river boat all by myself! Sure would be nice to have some company...” Rod dead panned, I’ll go if you go. I called my mother and before I finished my sentence she was booked. So here we are!


We arrived in St. Louis on Sunday and had a lovely dinner at Herbies downtown. Mama and Dotty have never met so it was a night of introductions and family stories. Monday we took a twirl up the famous St. Louis arch, took a cab to ‘antiques row’ and then boarding the ship at 3.


I have to admit I was expecting the boat to be a bit on the Disney side of camp with cardboard decor and dusty fake flowers. I am pleasantly surprised. Built in 1995 the American Queen is apparently the largest steam boat ever built. The paddle is impressive and churns at a mighty fast rate. Our room has enviable ‘Arts & Crafts’ wallpaper and the gentleman’s lounge is stocked with handsome boar and bear taxidermy.

I think the dining room is my favorite. It is so very Harmonia Gardens! I’m waiting for Dolly Levy to order a turkey dinner any evening. There is also a calliope on the top floor. If you are not familiar, it is a horrid invention of the Victorian’s birthed from whistles and steam. If you have ever heard the nightmarish music of a merry-go-round, you have heard a calliope.



After settling in we trotted off to dinner at 5:15. Yes, you read correctly. We booked in for the early bird dinner and since everyone on this thing is 90+, dinner is either at 5:15 or 7:15. We figured we should take the earlier seating so we can start drinking at a decent hour. You know.

Our Maitre d’ is memorable. His name is Chris and he has a french twist and brows for days. When I found out he is from Atlanta we became dear friends. My other favorite person so far is the singer from the ‘Engine Room’ bar who I mentioned earlier.


After dinner we went to the floor show where two couples sang every riverboat song in the book. They started the show in 1880’s clothes and made their way through the 20s, 40s and ended with  60s sequins and some seriously jacked wigs. Oh and their band was called ‘The Steamboat Syncopators’. I am so stealing that one.



Here is the playlist:

Proud Mary- Ike and Tina
Roll on Mississippi- Charley Pride
The River- Garth Brooks
Riverboat Days- The Back Porch Majority
Ol’ Man River-Showboat





After the show we headed to the engine room to hear Ms. Jackie (previously known as Paula Deen) belt them out. This is where I lost the plot. Mother and Dotty went to bed and Rod and I ordered about 1000 glasses of wine. We sang, I danced, I twirled that sweet little lady around the dance floor multiple times and we gazed out onto the silent Mississippi and up at the dazzling sky above. I nearly cried with pleas for the banjo player to help me find one on this trip. He told me there is a store in port today with decent ones so I gave him my card. Get ready for my Christmas show!



I woke this morning around 7:30 still pleasantly buzzed and did morning stretches on the balcony as we pulled into a foggy Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Sadly the town has decided to jack hammer the dock at 8am so my head is about to explode. The boat apparently has tried to wipe out the noise with more noise- a rag time band! So I think I will end this epistle and try to get some shut eye in the bathroom, or just get up with the grannies and get going.


More tomorrow.

My Non-Saga with Sandy


Here I sit in a gorgeous house in Saugerties with two of my favorite old friends drinking Pumpkin Ale, Fergus passed out on the couch after nipping some steak fat from our stew and a fire crackling in the corner.

Yet the television is grinding and showing us sights from New York, New Jersey and Staten Island that are just unfathomable. Anderson Cooper and Governor Cuomo are talking to people at the Freedom Tower site that said there are 200 million gallons of water left to pump out. What? Whitehall subway, which was just renovated at a cost of millions of dollars, still has two stories under water. Fuel had mixed with salt water,    deteriorating everything quickly and efficiently.


 This entire situation has been a nightmare that I have only seen on TV and through Facebook and word of mouth. When the hurricane hit Manhattan Rod, Philip and I were cooking a roast chicken, listening to Bizet and shrugging our shoulders when we would look out the windows sighing, “Is this it?” There was hardly any rain (Irene flooded Rod’s home severely) and the trees were whipping around, but nothing too horrifying.  I took Fergus out for a walk that night and saw cracked trees on the bigger boulevards and standing water in some tree beds but that was all the terror felt in Harlem. Our power was on and we breezed through it. 


It wasn’t until I turned on the television to hear the panic in voices and saw images online of water pouring into subway stations and turning the East Village into a lake that I realized what was happening down town. To be honest and totally selfish, the event for me was two days off with all events canceled! WAHOO! I was in pajamas for three days, getting loads of work done on the website I am launching December 1st and getting books and magazines read that were piling up. I even went to bed at 10:30 one night. That hasn’t happened in years.


Way before Sandy was a sparkle in the weatherman’s eye, I had planned to forgo Halloween at the Boom Boom Room with a performance by Grace Jones. Instead I wanted to come upstate and spend time with Angela and Colin who are here from England with their 20 month old girl, Ren. I kept my plan and drove up on Wednesday morning with little to no traffic. What was eerie was the continuous stream of tree service and electricity company trucks steadily humming south to help out. 



The day I arrived we took a magical hike to Kaaterskill Waterfall, a double waterfall that was a favorite subject for the Hudson River School artists. I took Fergus off leash and he bounded up rocks, through mossy streams and around massive tree trunks. I don’t think I have ever seen him happier. As we hiked through the thick, dense, wet forest I caught up with Angela who I haven’t seen in over two years and got to hear little Ren sing ‘Old McDonald’ while snuggled in her baby carrier on her father's back.


We approached the mighty waterfall and saw a mother and her son just gazing at the fall. The mother turned around and asked, “Are you refugees too?” That was the first time I heard that, and I would hear it many times over three days. So many people had escaped up to this rustic paradise where little has been touched by this Big Magilla. The sylvan forests here carry on as they always have.



Today we drove down to visit Danielle at West Point. It was wonderful to see little Ren run through the Civil War cannons, plugged into the ground, muzzle down, to symbolize the end to a nation divided. Yet that is what I am most worried about. Gas is running out around Manhattan, lines are growing throughout the state to stock up. Electricity may not come back on for 10 more days in some places. Staten Island is already barking that nobody is paying attention to them as two young boys were discovered dead in a field, ripped from their mothers arms in a storm surge. There is much anger in the air.


But let’s only think about the positive. I have remained unscathed and Patrick has been staying in my room since he has been flooded out of his home in the East Village. People are sharing cabs, helping each other out and coming together just as they did after 9/11. One comment that has stayed with me was from my favorite burlesque dancer and friend, World Famous *BOB*:
I just had the pleasure of hanging out, serving food to, and walking to the powder room- some REALLY cool seniors at the Park Slope Armory tonight. You can volunteer for a few hours- they really need 5am-9am people. Hanging out with old people is like getting a post card from your future. ♥

Thank you BOB, you are beautiful inside and out. 

Last Day! Monaco and Eze


Last day! But what a way to wake up- In the port of Monaco we tower over the largest ships, apparently the one next to us is one of six owned by a Saudi Prince and his daily slip fee is $26,000. And who isn’t helping Syria? Honestly...



Since several of us from the group have already spent numerous times in this principality we decided to hire a taxi and visit Eze. I haven’t been there since I was 14 and remembered the tiny winding streets and mile high views. It did not disappoint. 
We hired the loveliest of drivers to take us to Eze. It always amazes me how gracious the French can be when you are not in Paris. He suggested a stop by Fragonard, an old perfume factory and another place I visited when I was a teen. We arrived at 8:30am and were the first ones in the door. The smells were delectable and the shopping was just what mother needed after 12 days of buying zero. 

Brett and Gayle and I walked and walked and climbed and hiked till we reached the top of this towering village. We could see Cap d’Antibes, St. Tropez, Cap Ferrat and all of the other glittering little spots I have grown up reading about in Tender is the Night and all those other 20’s lullabies. 


 I love these mini tractors they use to haul things around Eze.

 My favorite symbol- the Salamander of Francois I's.


We found an olive oil store carved out of the side of a hill called Deli. It was smaller than my closet at home but stocked full of amazing infused oils. The handsome owner let us sample the lavender, basil and spicy infused treat. What a tonic! 




Please click and enlarge these to enjoy the full view. They are surreal...



Yes, that's a heap of Jasmine!
After we wound down the town of Eze we took a cab back to Monaco and had lunch in front of the casino. It was a little decadent but where else does one eat in Monaco? After finishing a bottle of wine and taking a tour around we headed back to the ship. Realizing it was way too far we found another delightful cab driver who belted out Frank Sinatra all the way to the ship. 



Once back from our last port I high tailed it to the hot tub and spent an hour squeezing the last  drops of sun out of the Mediterranean while watching the ship pull out and head to Barcelona where we will fly out of Friday morning. We love that city but we have spent plenty of time there in the past and after 17 days away we were both looking forward to home. 
Mother has a trip to Florida for Danielle’s graduation party and then a wedding to plan for July 15th for my oldest niece. I have friends in town next week, need to spend a great deal of time in the office and cannot wait to give Fergus countless hours of playtime and attention. I miss him so!
Don’t think we don’t already have another cruise lined up. This one on a paddle boat down the Mississippi River in November with Rod and his mother, Dotty. This trip may have had it’s exotic moments but tootin' down to Nawlin’s on a paddle boat sippin' mint juleps and peaking at plantations from their backyards is going to be more Lucullan than anything ole Monaco could possibly offer. 

Thanks for reading and more soon!

Love

Day 14: Cinque Terre


After an unexpected day at sea (the port of Livorno refused our entry because they had a cargo ship they deemed more important, ended up on the front page of the paper for it’s idiotic circumstances) we ended up in Livorno on Wednesday having to cancel our day in Marseilles. 
While we wanted to give the royal finger to Italy for their dysfunction, mother and I were so excited to get the chance to experience Cinque Terre. We took an hour long drive through the most sensual countryside, passing medieval villages dangling from hills like plump batch of grapes, Pisa from a distance and the mountains of Carrara white with freshly sliced marble.








 That's not snow its the marble quarries!





If you squint you can see the leaning tower!

Cinque Terre are five little towns dotting the hills of the coast of Italy. They were deemed a UNESCO heritage site a while back and are now thriving with tourists poking through like a herd of cattle (me) and those who rent rooms perched on cliffs to write and watch waves crash (me the next time). 









We started in Riomaggiore, walked to Manarola and then took a train to Vernazza and another to Monterrossa-al-Mare. Two of the towns were heavily damaged by massive floods last October but unlike the Italian economy, the townspeople were thriving like bees rebuilding their hives. 


 Crafty knit wit for Jesus!



Mother and I had lunch overlooking the crashing waves as an afternoon rain sprinkled the young soccer team shouting on a nearby field. The proschutto and melon was sublime and the beer was soothing. We sat and recapped the trip so far, our highlights and what we would change. 










We walked back to the Stazione to meet the group and catch the train but with some extra time on my hands I decided to walk down to gaze at the once great Neptune who from 1910 till WWII held up a dancing terrace where a generation of Italian’s danced under the moonlight to long lost bouncy bands. The poor God was destroyed during The War but has been partially rebuilt.









 Creepy skull people.



 Our view at lunch


My favorite!




 Neptune in his glory days

 And today.



That evening the entire crew convened at the steak house on the ship and gorged on too much meat before turning in for an early night where we watched the sunset from the terrace of our suite. How seldom do we spend the time to see such beauty?







Tomorrow is Monaco, however brief a visit. 

Day 12: Rome

Hoorah! A big city. Even I get a little needy of some snap in the air after a week of port towns. I haven't seen Rome for 15 year and was so excited to fill my lungs with the air of history.

Mother and I made our own tour and it was delightful.

First stop was Le Domus Romane under the Palazzo Valentini pictured below. When they were excavating for a parking lot they discovered a wealthy Roman mansion and have done an incredible job presenting it. All the floors are glass so you walk over the entire home and with great video work they recreate the rooms as they might have been. It was rated the number one attraction on Trip Advisor and I can see why.

When we visited we were there for the French tour so we just took it and I translated what I could for mama. Still got it in me! 

Here is the column they describe in depth in the museum which you then see at the end of the tour.
No pics allowed in the museum but check out the site!





Next up was a walk to the Pantheon. My favorite building in Rome. I forgot how OLD it is. How divine is that dome? The light is magical. We wandered about gazing up and down and reading as much as we could on the history.





Look! Italian style....

Then we went to Monti, near the top of the Spanish steps to see some menswear stores that people had recommended. Closed on Monday! Oh Italy.





Then we drove 20 minutes away to a restaurant my friend Rocky recommended. We got there and -closed on Monday! Really Italy?


Our driver took us to a restaurant he likes and it was perfect- overlooking the Coliseum we had carbonara and one big ole beer. Perfecto.


Then we cabbed up to the Villa Borghese. I haven't been there before and we found it totally delightful. Of course we went to see the sculpture museum and it was-you guessed it- closed on Monday. But the grounds are a delight.

After my beer I thought I could do Tree pose on this pilar. It wasn't pretty and mother wasn't happy. But it happened.


The villa!


The gardens!

Bird cage roof?


Some other building of wonder.


And to celebrate a perfect day in Rome- dessert at the Piazza del Popolo. Last time I was there was during the Italian revolt against Brazil when they won the World Cup. It was a scene! I had never seen a taxi driver cry. All over soccer...



Here is the place I picked out for myself if I ever need to spend more time in the Eternal City.


Last picture before back to the ship. Perfect day!



Day Eleven: Sardinia, La Maddalena

Yesterday we had another relaxing day island hopping. When we reached Sardinia we immediately boarded a bus to another port to take us to La Maddalena, an island famous for it's beaches.

We loved swerving through the Sardinian granite mountains and hearing how it became a jet set destination in the 60's thanks to the Aly Khan and his investment in the island.





Then we drove onto a ferry and cruised 30 minutes to Maddalena.

Check out those waters!



I'll take a house right about here.










After spending some time touring about we spent an hour downtown where everything was closed for Sunday but we enjoyed looking about all the same. I adore this building. This color is so rich to me. It's the result of an orgy between a peach, cantaloupe and plump little red cherry. I can't get enough of this color.

And that's it for this post! Quick and easy. Another place I could come back and spend a week.


Today was Rome. Posting soon. 

Day Ten: Sicily


 This was our view when we peeled the curtains back this morning. Sicily! The home of Sofia from The Golden Girls. Ahhh..... And no, I'm not even mentioning The God Father. Sigh, that reference was all too prevalent.

But this island was a TOTAL highlight! I always thought Sicily was the New Jersey of Italy. A little tacky, not as classy. But like New Jersey, it's got a bad rap. This island is epic. Guy de Maupassant wrote: A landscape where you find everything created to seduce the eyes, mind and fantasy.
Couldn't agree more!
 Speaking of fantasy... This welcomed us into the port of Messina.

 This is all we saw of Messina since it was bombed to bits in WWII.


Off to Taormina! About a 45 minute drive from our port this charming town in the hills is where I could spend a summer writing.




 LOOK! Mount Etna! She's fuming about something.










We stopped at this little cafe and it seems that it has been quite the hot spot since the 50s.
This pic is from Life Magazine.



I have always been obsessed with these head vases. I asked our guide the backstory and he said back in the day the locals would kill pirates and put their heads on their roof tops to show they have been busy. These rotten pirate heads inspired artists to start making vases in the same shape. Even more grotesque and incredible!



Now THIS is from a bar that was all about the penis. This is a measuring board you can take out to the clubs with you. I love Sicily!

Some penis art in the window. Sadly the bar was closed at 9:30 am or I would have moved in.


Me and Mount Etna. Notice the moon over the puff of smoke.








Mama and her namesake hotel.


JEWELS! Justin Giunta you need to come and conquer.





Cannoli are from Sicily so we HAD to have one. Mother was in heaven. We had two.









Here is our happy group drinking and relaxing before NOON! God love this crew.


Our view.




This is our view from the table at lunch. We ate at Cisterna del Moro. We smelled the pizza and followed our noses. The view didn't hurt.




Cheese with lemons and pistachios!


I didn't know Carmen Miranda was a pirate.

That's all from this amazing day. I cannot wait to come back and spend a week on this island.
Tomorrow - Sardinia.


Day Eight: Izmir, Turkey

 Today was another whirlwind day in a different country. But lovely and exciting with some only minor irritation.

We arrived in Izmir (formerly Smyrna founded by Alexander the Great) around 7am and met our guide at 8:30am. We told him we wanted to go to a bazaar and see local crafts and textiles, etc. So for some unknown reason he took us to downtown Izmir and dropped us in th city center for an hour and disappeared. The 'bazaar' was like 50 little streets of K-Mart's. Horrifying. So mama and I sat at a cafe and had turkish coffee for an hour.  I felt like I did a bump of speed afterwards. Yowzers.

Next we drove an hour to visit Mary's house. Yes THAT Mary as in the Virgin. Apparently a German nun had a vision in the 1860's that Mary's home was in the hills near Ephesus near a stream. Sure enough some people went a searching and found a little house in the hills next to a stream and declared it a sacred spot. The Vatican restored it and paved the road and it's a massive attraction.

 Here is a 2000 year old baptismal pool near the house.


It's Mary's house!


Apparently this screw ball Asian lady from our ship thought she would do a photo shoot in front of the house. She even brought her own peeps. She delighted the line of tourists to no end and she vamped in her Warhol looking sari. Everything about it was bananas.

I'm not sure Mary or her son would approve.


Get it gurl!


Now turn to the right!


This monk was none too pleased, especially after she didn't even tour Mary's house, just cut through the line and headed out.

Sacred healing water below the house.


I perved out and took pictures of the hot guard. I'm sure Mary wouldn't mind.



Next stop was Ephesus. I was there 15 years ago and was amazed at all the work that has been done since then. So much has been pieced back together.

Look-its water pipes from 2000 years ago! The the right was the sewage drain.



This was one of the school and it had heated floors. And we thought that was new and fancy.





 I hope mother washed her hands after petting that mangy thing.


LOVE these cow head water spouts.




LOVE this lion claw on the foot of each stadium seat.




This was the hospital. They used the same two snakes on a rod symbol we use today.







 Me and Hercules!



Serious mosaics.




The turlets! Last time I was there you could sit on them and I have a great pic of me and dad on the throne...


The library








I took this picture for Price Latimer!



Apparently we missed a gladiator theater moment. Damn, damn, damn....



Next stop was a rug factory. This is the part where I nearly popped. We ask for shopping and he brings us to a rug factory where we are sure he gets a commission and nobody wanted a rug! See, the Greeks would never be this tacky. But we went and while everyone else was being hypnotized into buying something I scoped out this weird corner with popcorn only to realize it was piles of silk worm cocoons. COOL! This nice man showed me how the make silk thread from the cocoons. Sadly, the have to kill the little worms by boiling them. :(


But look at the results! This rug took two years to make and was $6,000. No I didn't buy it.



Two huge bags of silkworm cocoons!


Silk thread being spun directly from the cocoons.


They plunge this brush over and over in the bowl of cocoons in the water and that is how they find a thread to start spinning. They then pull it into the metal hole and connect it to the wheel. Pretty amazing.

And that was the end of the day. No lunch and lots of walking but great experience. We all passed out on the drive back and did all of our shopping at the customs control building at the port. Then we all got totally wasted last night and I motor boated one of mom's friends while others belted out karaoke.

Thank God today was a day at sea to sleep in!

Day Seven: Athens, Greece




It has been 15 years since I first sailed into Greece on the Windstar (now THAT'S a ship!) and it was equally as magical this go around. Just imagining all of the amazing people who have cruised into this same port over 4,000 years. Kind of mind boggling. Equally mind boggling was that I was up at 6am to watch the sun rise and we had to meet everyone at 8am for our tour.




 Lisa from our crew booked a private guide and he was stellar. We headed to the Parthenon at 9am and it was already buzzing but still manageable. It was great to see it again with a more mature eye. But it was equally as difficult to navigate and people dropped like flies on the slippery marble and cracked concrete that they flooded the pathways with at some point. It's really poorly done.










Note the horse peeping out the right side!



The world's oldest theater. I think Cher performed there for Plato.


Zeus' temple.


The first modern Olympic stadium built for the 1896 games. All marble. Not too shabby!


Downtown Athens.


Well hello there!

Next to this amazing pile used to be a monastery where Lord Byron was 'entertained'. Only in Greece my friends.


Now THIS was the highlight! The new Acropolis Museum opened in 2009. This is the entrance and it is built over ruins. Notice the 4th century AD mosaics under my feet.



On the top of the museum they replicated the size and scale of the Parthenon and erected all the friezes that had not been A) destroyed or B) taken back to England by Elgin. The pieces that are in England have been plaster casted and are lighter in color. Really fab.

Sadly I was not allowed to take pictures in here and I recall in 1995 when mother took a picture in the old museum and we nearly got kicked out. But tears nearly came to my eyes seeing Kouros, Korai, Caryatids and remarkable pediments all in this airy, modern, beautiful building.

I wish we had spent two hours there and one hour with the tourist masses at the real deal.


 According to Yanni, our guide, this frieze below is one of the most important in classical Greece as it is a beautiful rendering of movement. Something you didn't see in Egypt or anywhere else. 'Two Further Horsemen from Block IV'


 We ended the afternoon with a breezy lunch in the Plaka. I had dolmades like my Yaiyai used to make and we all had large Mythos beers to cool down.


Exhausted we boarded the ship, had an early dinner and headed back to the cabin, me to work, mother to do crosswords. Tomorrow we land in enemy territory- Turkey! ( well, at least according to my Yaiyai)

Day Five: Dubrovnik, Croatia


 There is nothing like sailing into port and getting the first glimpses of unexplored lands.

At noon today we docked in Dubrovnik and had a happy little tour around the town and provinces.





                                               YES PLEASE! Why isn't this on the tour?




First stop was the charming town of Cavtat 20 minutes from Dubrovnik. I would love to tell you more about this little spot but as soon as I got in the bus for the tour I fell asleep!



 I want to travel with the sailor next trip...


Some stairs...

Love these colors.



For lunch we were shuttled to some tourist spot that was actually fab. Old ladies in traditional costumes (red caps and dirndle looking get ups) fired out open faced sandwiches, dried figs (which looks so much like shrunken old bawls I could mother and I could hardly look at them without passing out in laughter) and local wine which was so dry mother about suffocated.

But this watermill!! That's what it was all about. Just sopping in ferns and moss. So divine. It belonged at Marie- Antoinette's Hamlet.





We arrived back at the walled city of Dubrovnik which is tiny and took a spin around. So sad it is just crammed full of crap tat shops and nothing good. Churches were nice though.


Even the gelato wasn't up to par...








Once we got back I went to yoga and then had dinner solo at the sushi restaurant (which was fantastic) and met mother later. When I ran back to change for dinner this horrifying Donnie Darko creature was staring at me. I had nightmares....


The show tonight was DIVAS and it was good ole fashioned DRAG. I was really impressed actually. When the gals came out to perform 'Vogue' they were wearing Elizabethan corsets, ruffs and panniers.

The boys were gooooood lookin too. Where are they on the pool deck? (Obv not the ones in the picture. We weren't allowed to take pics during the show due to trade mark!)


Afterwards mother and I hit  the piano bar which was amusing before hitting the hay. Tuesday is day at sea. Weeeeee.......

Day Four: Venice and The Ship


On our last day in Venice we packed up, had a bit of breakfast, booked our water taxi for 2:30 and headed out for some last chance ogling of sites. The flood gates of philistines had opened on the Lord’s day as every canal was jammed with gondolas piled high with tourists and every street was a venetian tango with fanny packs and locals taking their dogs on tedious walks. 



I was ecstatic to find the Venetian carnival shop opened where I had eyed a little cape I need for my Halloween costume (going masked Venetian!). I’m not sure what it really is frankly. It’s a cape that goes around your face (think a nun) and then has about two feet of lace at the bottom hitting around the waist. You secure it with the tricorn hat (Rod, we will be adding some fluff to this basic one I bought) and then sport another cape underneath it (which I already own two of). I guess it is to give the utmost in disguise to the costumed carnival goer. God knows how I will eat or drink but I’m sure it will work out!



We then headed to the Doges palace for a quick tour. I remember loving it last time and it was amazing to see it again. The rich silk damask walls, gilded everything and cararra marble fireplaces with St. Mark’s lion carved anywhere there wasn’t a fat faced putti blowing on something or waving around in excitement. The Titian's and Tintoretto's were so sublime. One Titian was hidden in a stairwell for the Doges to gaze at alone before entering the public spaces. How sacred. 



After that we grabbed some crap lunch for $60 in the square before getting back to the hotel where our boat was awaiting. The porter piled our luggage on and off we went to the the BIG BOAT. 



The Carnival Breeze is brand new to the Carnival line and is apparently part of their ‘dream’ line of higher end ships. The high end part lost all luster when I saw a two story water slide twirling around the top of this 12 story behemoth. 


Once we checked in, got scanned, prodded and ID’d we made it to our suite which really is swish and all new! No bed bugs here! We have a cosy little sitting area, two single beds and a massive bathroom with jacuzzi. Most importantly there are two grand closets so mother and I aren’t mixing up panties and drawers with bras and gym socks. Praise!


After unpacking we took a tour of the ship. Had a wee bite to eat and then found part of the 12 members of our group from mom and dad’s yacht club in Georgia by the pool in full cocktail mode. We all made a date for the port side of the ship at 6:15 to kick off the departure, drinks in hand. It was a rather fantastic voyage out of Venice passing by all the iconic areas and monuments and seeing many parts I didn’t even know existed. Carnival got points for having Pavarotti bellowing as we set sail.










Dinner was a mad dash at 6:45 and we have a great table for 12 looking over the stern of the ship for the duration of the trip. Afterwards everyone went to see the show in the theater but I went back to work, meditate and have some me time. How divine to edit my work and send emails from our little balcony as the moon shines and the waves roll. 


Mother got back at 11:30 and we were both pleasantly passed out in our little beds by midnight. Here is to 11 more days of this!